Spin off of someone’s post about the Poisonwood Bible. My mother has asked for 2 things for Xmas – memoirs by Melania Trump and Megan Kelly. I do not want in anyway to support these women or their agenda. That said, my mom just thinks they are “pretty and smart and have done a lot with their lives,” so she is largely clueless about the other aspects. Additionally, she’s 85 and would be able to navigate a gift card to a book store.
Any other suggestions?
by ReadingLizard
25 Comments
See if you can find them second hand so they don’t get any direct support.
Just get her what she wants. Gift card still buys the books.
Buy her a sweater.
If she can navigate to the bookstore with a gift card then you may as well spare your 85-year-old mother the hassle and just get them, saving her the trip.
Get her The Poisonwood Bible and a piece of jewelry.
Just get her Michelle Obama and Barbara Walters books instead and say you mixed them up.
She’s 85. Is this really the hill you want to die on?
Buy your mother the book, wish her a Merry Christmas and be thankful that at 85 years old she can still read.
I would get them secondhand and also buy her two more new books from other women who are pretty and smart and have done a lot with their lives.
Educated by Tara Westover
Me, Stories of my Life by Katharine Hepburn
Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones by Dolly Parton
She’s 85 years old I think you can be honest with her and tell her that you’re not going to buy those books and give money to two awful people
If my mom asked me for books like that, I wouldn’t buy them.
Fortunately, my mom likes a lot of popular authors like Stephen King, CJ Box, Lee Child, etc. so there is usually something else I can buy. I can also buy her gift cards to stores she goes to (costco) or pre-pay her Netflix or cable TV bill.
Grow up. YOu gonna die some day, you mom is gonna die some day. YOu will have no effect on these named people whatsoever. Give your mom her presents, my god.
> Any other suggestions?
Remember that when it comes to giving gifts to loved ones, it’s NOT about you. It’s about THEM.
What she wants is more important than your politics.
I would get them second hand and then donate the savings to a charity in her name of something aligned with your world view, but never tell her
Is it more important to you to make a point about what your mom wants to read here on her 85th Christmas, or to get her what she asked for?
Buy the books. Then maybe ask to read them when she’s done so you can discuss them with her. You’re both adults, act like it.
Maybe gift her the memoria of a truly smart woman who’s done something with her life. Arguably Megan Kelly is a college educated smart woman, despite her common shtick of making college and higher education seem elitist and liberal. Hedy Lamarr?
Then don’t buy them. Is this really an ethical issue? Get her a library card if she wants to read them. Maybe she’d read them and discover they’re not so great after all. Surely she’d be happy with other gifts.
The “buy secondhand” advice is great, but additionally (if possible), I’d talk to mom about this if she is largely clueless.
“Mom, do you know what they’re doing? Is that something you’re looking to support?” I know it comes off as infantilizing, but sometimes, they haven’t really thought about it. I’ve seen it happen so often where a colleague checks in with their parents and their parents realize that they don’t really understand the whole situation.
Of all the hills to die on, you’re going to begrudge your 85 year old mother some books she wants to read for political reasons? Just buy her the damn books.
She’s 85 years old. Just get her the books she wants to read. Maybe toss in Michelle Obama or RBG’s memoirs as well so she has a balanced selection.
Fwiw I never supported Sarah Palin, but I read her memoir out of burning curiosity.
Could do the old switcheroo and give her Fire and Fury
this is pathetic. imagine making your 85 year old mother go to a book store to buy her own present.
She’s 85. Maybe she’ll read them and see the error of her long-lived ways. Maybe she’ll get a kick out of it. Either way, I don’t really see the point in trying to reform her views. Get her what she wants. It isn’t about you.
I would buy her some adult coloring books and some nice pens. I agree that you can’t impose your taste on your mother by buying her books that you approve of but she doesn’t want, but I set some limits on my own mother when I saw that she was reading books that would cause her grief or pain. Happily ever after romances were not giving her any comfort. But that’s the kind of relationship we had.