Hey,
I’m looking for a book that might help someone who feels deeply affected by a parent’s mental illness and harmful behavior. My mom has done some terrible things, like being physically abusive, stealing from family (including ruining my brother’s credit, strealing tens of thousands from my dad and grandparents) and lying constantly. She will intentionally bring up horrifically sad things just to get a reaction from people. I could write a lot about the things she's done tbh lol but she’s also not all bad, which makes me feel incredibly guilty for thinking negatively about her. It would be easier if she was a one dimensional evil mom, but she's not.
Still, her behavior has left a mark on me, and I worry that I’ve inherited some of her worst traits, which scares me. Like it's laying hidden under the surface somewhere and just hasn't revealed itself yet. It’s hard not to feel like I’m “contaminated” by her actions and personality, even though I try hard to be different from her.
Does anyone know of a book that might help me process these feelings or understand this kind of relationship better? Obviously therapy would probably be the best thing but until then… Lol. Fiction or non fiction is fine, I’m open to anything. I have read East of Eden and it's probably my favorite book of all time because of the relationship between Cathy and her sons. Anyway, let me know if you have any ideas haha. Thanks.
by Axel_VI