I'm sure we have all experienced people giving us their favorite books to read, especially once they find out we love to read. Sometimes it's to borrow, sometimes it's to keep.
I love this. It's like someone giving you a piece of their heart.
I also find this stressful. I'm not a fast reader and I already have a list of books I want to get to in the new future, so I feel bad that I won't be able to get to their book for at least another few months.
This is compounded by my only real regret in life, which is that I know I won't possibly be able to read all the hundreds of books on my list in my lifetime.
Sometimes I tell people this, but sometimes it's not possible for various reasons and I must accept the book. A few months later, they'll ask what I thought of the book and I sheepishly have to admit that I haven't read it yet! I feel horrible.
Do you feel the same way? How do you handle these situations? Do you accept the book? Do you move it to the top of your list? Do you decline the book? Do you decline it but also put it on your TBR list?
by movingtosouthpas
8 Comments
I accept the gift but when I do I also accept that I’ll get to it when I get to it, and I might not like it. Reading is so personal, and I never want to hurt my friends’ feelings when they’ve put so much thought into a gift for me. If the book does grip me, and I like it, I will tell my friend I loved it and discuss it with them. If not, I won’t mention it again and they usually don’t either.
Generally I’ll just say “thank you so much!” and probably not read it for ages (or at all) unless I was already intending to, lol.
I may be too blunt but if someone suggests a book to me even if it’s their favorite, I’ll often say so if it doesn’t sound like my cup of tea. However, my well-read friends appreciate when I do tackle one they’ve loved. We trade recs often with honesty, and that’s just the best way to go about it.
I usually just say that the person might not get the book back soon because I have some books on my TBR list to knock out. Just be honest, you have a life to live and don’t have time for everything.
My son gave me two books as gifts. Today, I had to exchange them because I had previously read them. So, I gently told him to stop buying books for me because he’d never know if I had already read them. A simple gift card from a bookseller will do.
I told him that I hoped I was not hurting his feelings. But, I had to teach him that buying gifts for an avid reader is a labyrinth of drama. You’ll never know if your gift works. So, a simple gift card to a bookshop or bookseller is best.
Stress eliminated. Either get me the card/money or do not buy me a book unless you know for sure that either I want it or haven’t read it.
I don’t know why it’s embarrassing to admit you haven’t read it yet. Gifts really shouldn’t come with expectations. If the person who gifted/loaned you the book is actually upset that you haven’t read it, that’s on them. I’d never change my reading priority based on someone else’s expectation.
I just say that I’ll add it to my library and leave it at that.
I never decline a book, but I make it clear that there are numerous books already on the TBR, and because of that it might take some time to crack it. Usually I’ll let them know once I’ve started it so they know when appropriate times to ask about progress/enjoyment are lol.
It’s not that deep though. Anybody who is a true reader knows that you won’t always be able to prioritize a certain book over others already waiting their turn.