My best friend was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He was the first real friend I ever made when I was a boy. I'm in my thirties now. I wasn't living right but decided to fix it and go to treatment for mental health and substance abuse. In doing so, I spent his last days there focusing on me and not with him. Though I didn't do this knowingly, I'm struggling to forgive myself. Suggest me a book please. I've looked up quite a few on grief but none seem to encapsulate the grief, guilt, youth and lonstanding friendship. If there aren't any, that's okay but I figured this subreddit would be my best chance. Thanks in advance for your time and suggestion.
by pozzicore