Cravats, cigars. Strict rules of etiquette and decorum. Hats, horses, inheritances. Unmarried daughters, wastrel sons, brothers in the military. Visiting your friend’s widow. Devoted servants.
Remains of the Day, obviously. Gatsby. Dorian.
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell! Almost exclusively about gentlemen. And fairies. And even the Head Fairy is called The Gentleman!
EDIT: The Terror!
by FrankAndApril
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The Master and Marguerite
Really a lot of Russian lit fits this bill
A Gentleman in Moscow, by Amor Towles is the obvious choice
Death Comes to Pemberly.
The Unexpurgated Code by JP Donleavy. (Offered a bit tongue in cheek, but worth the read).
The Parasol Protectorate – Gail Carriger (fantasy)
A Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee (this is an m/m book if that bothers you)
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman trilogy – Pamela Aidan (A Pride and Prejudice variation)
I was gona say the gentleman bastard series xD it has those elements, along with others.
You need to make the acquaintance of Freddy Standen in Georgette Heyer’s *Cotillion*. Freddy is the quintessential gentleman.