Someone gingerly confessed, "So many people are raving about this book and I tried so hard to get through it, I'm 90% finished and I still don't get it—can I just quit reading this??"
And I told them that it's not like they have to finish eating everything on their plate if they don't feel like it. That was a realization that I had in a similar situation, that I had been forced to finish my food, homework, etc. from the time I was a kid even if I had indigestion or was not being lazy, I was either going through an overstimulation shutdown or exhausted. I used to hide in the closet, crawl up in the bathtub, or even slither under the bed to hide and self-soothe so that I wouldn't be found out and punished for being a lazy pig.
So, not finishing a book brought up similar feelings and when I told a friend that I was struggling with a book that won a Hugo Award and maybe I should like it because it's so culturally significant, a friend asked me why? Says who? What'll happen if I don't? And then I realized what was going on. After that, I had no qualms about not finishing a book if I don't want to.
Recently, I got into an odd situation where Person A: Read a few pages, was appalled at the violent misogyny and derision, quit immediately. Person B: Curious, picked it up, looked and had the same reaction, shut the book ASAP. Person C: What are you two so offended by… picks the book up, flips pages, guffaws. Yeah, smack a woman around, make her mad enough to slice your bollocks off and shove them down your throat as revenge—good stuff. You two are such babies. Eye roll. Person A + B: Silent, eyeballs popping out of their heads in shock… then look at each other and shake their heads in disbelief.
Reading level of effort vs. payoff, preferences, priority do differ from person to person. The level of shock factor and violence a person can take also differs and it doesn't say anything negative about their window of tolerance, ability to self-regulate if they don't like it. They're not being a bunch of big babies. And yes, we all have the right to not finish what we start when we recognize that it won't be worth it for us.
Reading should be an enjoyable or enriching experience, and if a book feels like an uphill slog with bricks on your back, it’s worth considering whether the effort is worth the payoff. Ask yourself if the writing style, themes, or depth align with what you enjoy or if you're only pushing through out of obligation. Your preferences matter—if a book contains elements that make you disengage or uncomfortable, there’s no shame in setting it aside. Prioritize books that excite or challenge you in a way that feels meaningful rather than forcing yourself through something just because it’s popular or acclaimed. If you keep dreading picking it up, that’s a sign it might not be the right book for you, and that’s okay.
“I believe in learning for myself instead of relying on the hearsay of others.” — Grace Draven
by Emalani