Books with morally grey character

Am I the only one who find some books with morally grey character messed up ?

Do not get me wrong, I love these type of books/series/manga interesting but sometimes I feel like the author doesn't know to handle it. At the beginning, the character is ready to hurt/kill people and instead of having a real character development at the end it's "I was pretending I would never do that". I think it kinda ruin the character specially when rereading because the tension and danger was fake and it feels like just a way for the author to make the character acceptable without having to give a proper redemption. I feel the same towards the author who just give a character a tragic backstory and everybody forgive his acts because of it.

I love this trope or character but I don't really like how it's handled in some books, give your recommendations of books you really find good ! I would love a book like that. Btw the morally grey character doesn't have to have a redemption, sometimes they don't change and it's good too.