Come read the second half of the book you were tricked into buying last time because the cover made you think it had anything to do with the movie! Relive all your favorite scenes between Elphaba and Glinda where they… oh wait, they’re not in there. How about the one where—nope, that didn’t happen either.
Catch up with Glinda as she sips tea with Fiyero, who she hasn’t seen in half a decade, and a character named Crope—whose absence from the musical definitely had nothing to do with his overt homosexuality, guys, you’ve gotta stop saying that! They’re here to inform you that Glinda is now married to a geriatric man you never meet, and that Crope’s ex-boyfriend Tibbett got (not AIDS) from a tiger at the clerb.
Feel Delicious-ly confused as Elphaba has an affair with married Fiyero in front of a cat that probably can’t talk… right? All while simultaneously committing acts of terrorism, animal liberation, and political sabotage—seasoned with a healthy dose of paranoia. Then BAM! Seven years pass. And BAM AGAIN! Another chunk of time disappears. No transitions. No explanation. Just emotional whiplash, vibes and a secret baby in the cabbage patch.
Attend! As soldiers describe what they plan to do to Dorothy, a literal child, while she skips down the Yellow Brick Road like a human natural disaster. Did the song “For Good” make you cry? Good. Now get ready to laugh and scream in confusion as Elphaba sets herself on fire and is then murdered.
Marvel as Dorothy cradles the Wicked Witch in her arms while she literally melts to death. Is Dorothy okay? Probably not. Did Kansas have mental health support for 10-year-old girls in 1900? Unclear.
Buy it now with the MOVIE COVER so everyone knows you came here for musical fluff and stayed for the war crimes!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“What do you mean seven years have passed?”
Thought this was gonna be a cute story about friendship and defying gravity. Instead, I got war, death, political unrest, WHY DID HE HAVE SEX WITH THAT TIGER?!?, and a woman slowly losing her mind in a tower. No songs. No sparkles. Just vibes and trauma. Loved it!
by soundsaboutright11