For context:
(21M). Past relationship of 4 years and 3 months. I know having -illusion- that a relationship may rekindle can sometimes do more bad than good. With that being said, I have a strong -intuition- that it might happen in my case since I’m the one that mostly has to fix certain problems. There was a specific problem related to alcohol. I never thought I actually needed to fully quit it to fix the problem. I was wrong, so I’ve quit alcohol fully, I’ve started focusing on my mental and physical health and strengthening my relationship with God
I’m already in my changing/healing process, not because of her, but because of me. Which is what’s different from other times. This time, my initiative to start this process actually came from within myself and I’m excited for the good things coming my way by how I’m changing. The problem is that I had to loose her and learn the hard way. It’s been nearly a month since we broke up, but I want to let some time pass so that my change can be believable. I feel I’m doing an amazing job.
I’ve read “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace. That book helped me a lot to change my perspective on alcohol and with my personal growth.
Is there another book any of you know that might fit my experience. I know it’s super brief and you don’t know anything about me. Event if its not a book, any tip or suggestion?
EDIT: we’ve been in no contact since the breakup. It was very good relationship, I just couldn’t get a hold of myself when I drank and brought up past problems we had. Relationship ended because of that (70% of the problems we had had to do with me drinking and saying the things I seáis) I tried to “fix” these problemas but ended up always making them worse by saying things in an inappropriate manner because of how drunk I was.
My main fear is that time pases and when I try to reach out again she would either realize she is better off without me, not believing I’ve changed (how can I show change if we are in NC), and her finding someone else.
by Disastrous-Ad7175