Favourite funny passage from funniest books you’ve ever read?

I really didn't like Catch-22 ta first. Took me several tries to get into it. What helped me was someone saying that I should not have it all figured out and just go with it. When I did that, finally I was able to enjoy it, enjoy the absurdity especially that is war and everything surrounding it. The book is full of funny bits but and here are two, one a description, and one a give-and-take:

Description:

"Major Major had been born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.”

Conversation:

“Just what the hell did you mean, you bastard, when you said we couldn't punish you?" said the corporal who could take shorthand reading from his steno pad.

"All right," said the colonel. "Just what the hell did you mean?"

"I didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir."

"When," asked the colonel.

"When what, sir?"

"Now you're asking me questions again."

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid I don't understand your question."

"When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? Don't you understand my question?"

"No, sir, I don't understand."

"You've just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question."

"But how can I answer it?"

"That's another question you're asking me."

"I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know how to answer it. I never said you couldn't punish me."

"Now you're telling us what you did say. I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it."

Clevinger took a deep breath. "I always didn't say you couldn't punish me, sir.”

If you're looking to have a good laugh at the painful absurdities of life, I highlly recommend this book.

What passages from your favorite funny books really stuck with you?