Books about grieving the parents you needed growing up

There so many books about grieving parents like when someone’s mother dies or father dies but I want a book about grieving the parents you should’ve had, the parents you needed growing up.

Grieving that the parents you have will never live up to your expectations.

Cutting contact with your family as an adult.

Grieving who you could have become if you had the parents you needed growing up.

But these parents are still alive.

Any book recommendations for that type of grief?