Hi! I don’t know if this is a hot take, I’m not saying this because I’m some huge Jane Austen fan – I actually was a little bit biased against her books because I felt like they all follow a theme of ‘marriage marriage marriage’ and that sort of bored me, lol. I know there’s other themes to her books that make a statement on society and feminism but definitely if I was younger I would’ve not been into her books at all.
So I read Pride and Prejudice recently for the first time and I liked it. But something that came to mind randomly after reading that is how the whole genre of romance in media – films, music etc – and the way we push the idea of love just seems so distorted to me personally.
For example, Romeo and Juliet? I know this is a tragedy not necessarily meant to be romance, but the way people depicted it as a romance, it’s like to me personally, wasn’t Juliet a rebound? Weren’t Romeo and Juliet kind of both delusional? And did they really have to die? Why is this considered peak romance?
And Lolita – again people treated it as a romance. My copy of the book calls it ‘the most convincing love story’ and although it’s a cautionary tale that Nabokov literally didn’t want to be depicted as a love story, people either were disgusted by the book or treated it as a romance. When it’s literally a pedophile luring and essentially kidnapping a child. Why did people pick THAT to be considered romantic?
Wuthering Heights. A tragedy, gothic story, has themes of obsession, generational trauma, racism, classism etc has so many good statements about various issues, but from the way I heard about the story I thought it was a passionate love story between Heathcliff and Catherine. He’s borderline obsessed with her because she was the only person who treated him as another human after Earnshaw dies. Which to me is sad, and also reflective to how in real life people will grapple onto a lover who shows them the smallest bit of affection if they feel lonely or unwanted. And then Catherine is literally married and she still thinking about her old boo. Also she abandons Heathcliff to be high class. Then Heathcliff is abusive towards his wife while obsessing over Catherine. How is this peak romance?
And then a more recent story, Haunting Adeline. Now in this case I haven’t read the book so if I’m wrong please correct me, but isn’t it essentially a rape fantasy? A RAPE FANTASY. And I’ve seen this in the YA section of stores many times. How is that what we’re marketing towards teens? Im not saying it’s bad to show sex in romance because I’m a prude, I read things on Wattpad at 13 I would never want my parents to see, but why are we pushing a rape fantasy as a cute dark romance towards a teen audience?
I don’t know, I just feel like society treats romance as the most important aspect to our life, the one thing that could conquer all problems we face. But we have such a distorted unhealthy opinion of what love is. I could go on about movies too doing this, but something I appreciated about Pride and Prejudice is how it wasn’t toxic. It wasn’t abusive. It showed how two people had flaws, and how they both learned to overcome their flaws to better themselves and for their partner. And it wasn’t written in a “just wait for them to change” or “I could fix him/I could fix her” it felt more like they genuinely saw their faults and wanted to better themselves.
What do you guys think?
Also this isn’t to make fun of people who read romance, I don’t hardly read it, but I know some people could read something and not want it themselves too and I see the appeal of romance being that perfect outlet for escapism I really enjoyed Wuthering Heights and liked the whole Heathcliff/Catherine being in love and the idea of obsessive love but obviously I wouldn’t want to have that sort of relationship in real life even if I joke about ‘does a man really love you if he doesn’t dig up your grave to hug your body or take revenge against everyone in your lineage?’ Or whatever. Plenty of people consume romance but not want the tropes in it, but giving kids and younger adults ‘love stories’ is really impressionable on a lot of them. Like I’m a big Lana fan, and a lot of the community of younger Lana fans also love Lolita and thinks it’s peak love and want a relationship with older men. So I think media skews with peoples heads of how they should go about love.
And Pride and Prejudice doesn’t do that. It’s a simple yet sweet love story.
by UpbeatLeopard6112