I (37f) live at home with my elderly parents mom (78) dad (85). All because I can't afford to live elsewhere as I only get so much from my government fixed income. Plus right now my mother needs someone here to be her driver as we recently got into a car accident and has to redo her drivers license tests in order to keep her full license. Dad's got vascular dementia and I think Mom is starting to show signs of A or D herself. But she won't go to the doctor so can't get her diagnosed.
Nobody calls nobody comes over except a couple people every few and far between blue moon. My mother's POA (her sister) doesn't want to do her job. Literally telling my cousin at his place of work behind our backs about it saying she signed the papers a long time ago and doesn't want to do it anymore. Now I don't know what kind of POA she signed but still. I find it so unfair being the only one here and helping them because nobody else will or cares even though these people pretend they do. They get to go off live their lives have a partner kids if they want friends Etc.
With me not having any of that except for one friend and we only just met so there's that. Ever since my late husband passed its been hard. I don't have a lot of money to go places or do things no car and there's literally nothing to do in the city anyways. It's basically a 💩 hole of a town. So lately I've been feeling extremely anxious, depressed and hating my life. Not only that but I have probably over 2,000 books in my collection and I haven't wanted to read a single one of them for an extremely long time. While also getting rid of a lot of the books thinking maybe I was just overwhelmed with the amount I have and that did help a tiny bit.
But I still can't bring myself to read. I mean maybe if I wasn't living here and had the life I wanted. Which isn't possible at the moment I'd feel way more motivated to read each day but I just can't do it. Being the only one here is mentally and emotionally taxing. Also every time I try to read all my brain does is constantly think about everything and refuses to retain/ focus on what I'm reading. Has anyone else ever been in this position or similar? If so what did you do?
by yolouat
3 Comments
have you tried audiobooks? i find it much easier to focus on audiobooks when im feeling burnt out/stressed/unable to focus
I think finding some online friends or a discord might be good- read a book with other people and discuss it. It can definitely improve your enjoyment and ability to engage with the text, and it means you can step out of your comfort zone.
I like the synopsis of this book. What was the name of the book?