I read a lot. I can confidently say, I have been actively reading something of my own choosing for almost 40 years. Recently, I had a close acquaintance plead with me to read a book she recently finished that she says was the best book she's ever read. I respect this person very much and for the first time really, I decided I'm going to pause what I'm currently reading (The Old Curiosity Shop, probably my sixth or so Dickens novel) and read a book that someone recommends to me. Well, I wasn't that impressed. My question is, what am I to say to this person when asked how I liked it? I'm thinking along the lines of asking her what it was that impressed her so much about the book before I answer, etc.
by mddetroit
17 Comments
I mean don’t lie to her right? If you didn’t like a book it’s not that big of a deal. Ofc don’t say “wank. worst book i’ve ever read” as that’s just…not nice, but surely in your 40+ years on this earth you’ve turned someone down before? Be truthful but critical. Or just say “eh it wasn’t for me but I can see why you’d like it!”
You can either answer from her reader perspective. Because she must not read as much as you and that could affect what she likes. So if she likes the character, plot, scenery, whatever – maybe find common ground with her there.
Tell her about how it reminded you about a book you really loved and give her the low down about why you love THAT book.
Or there is always, I didn’t connect with the character, plot, etc. Point out something that was ok, but that you couldn’t get over that one thing.
I think you should be honest but be specific as to why you didn’t like it.
I also find that when someone highly recommends something too often whatever that thing is usually fails to live up to the billing. If I recommend something I only do it once and then I let it rest.
Ultimately art (which includes books) is personal and what speaks to one person may not speak to another.
You do not really have to speak in absolutes whether you liked the book or not??
Say 2-3 things you disliked and then 2-3 things you liked about it.
I think the other will rather appreciate you reading the book completely that not just liking the book. Not everyone will have the same taste.
There is a lot to talk about than whether a book is good or bad.
You can say that you appreciate the writer’s viewpoint but you see things differently, or it made you think about a certain topic and you decided you disagreed with their conclusions.
You can talk about what you thought about the choices the characters made. Whether you think they got what they deserved in the end.
And so on.
Was there anything you liked about it? You don’t have to exaggerate but highlighting what you liked and then going into your questions for why she liked it and turning it into more of a dialogue could work well, and steer the conversation into other areas that you’re both interested in.
Well, this can get tricky. Since you appreciate this person, maybe you can try to learn more about what they enjoyed and what was so fascinating for them. Then I guess you can share your thoughts on it. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that unless you behave in a rude manner. If the book is really really really awful, you can just lie ,lol . But I hope that’s not your case
Anytime this happens I’ll share what I liked and didn’t like about the book. It’s pretty rare that I can’t find some redeeming quality in something, unless it’s just completely awful. Definitely good to ask what your friend did like about it too.
Tell them the truth? Why do we have walked on eggshells in giving our honest opinion. Long as you’re not mean about it, they should be able to handle it?
In this situation I’d probably say something like “I can tell it’s pretty good; but it’s not quite up my alley.”
I’m not sure what you mean. Just talk to her about the book and why you didn’t like it without insulting her.
“It wasn’t really for me, but I thought x, y, or z was pretty interesting”
People are at different places in their lives when they discover a certain book or media. It’s hard to say what made it incredible for that person, maybe they really identify with the protagonist, or has a lot of sympathy for some characters or something.
So instead of trying to guess, ask them what stood out to them, what they liked about it. Maybe you’ll discover that the author was really exploring some psych concept that went right over your head. Or, maybe, this person just started reading that genre, and isn’t used to all it’s tropes yet.
Ultimately, give them some grace, and explore with them what they liked about it.
In my experience, most of the time when someone recommends the “best book ever” what they actually mean is “I have read twelve books in my entire life and this is my favorite from amongst that tiny sample size.” That’s great for them, but it doesn’t translate well to someone who reads more.
I would focus on discussing the themes because those are usually somewhat universal and likely more enjoyable to discuss than the specifics of a book you didn’t enjoy. You might even recommend something to them that they might enjoy based on what you just read.
“Tell me what you liked about it? I’m not sure it was for me, but I am an adult and realize that not everything for me, so I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to broaden my horizons and connect with you about our common love of books in general.”
Taste in book is subjective, just tell her that you didn’t enjoy the book as much as she did. Just like not everyone enjoys every type of food.
“I wasn’t impressed.”
It’s not that complicated.
Just say it’s not your thing … it could open a great discussion about why she likes the book and maybe point you to seeing something in it that they don’t? I personally love The God of Small Things, but my friend hated it when I recommend it to them; we had a discussion about why I like it/they don’t and it was really fruitful.