Years long book find please help

The book is about a girl whose brother dies(maybe), leading her to discover that ghosts are real and that her family has the ability to communicate with them. The ghost powers are split into three with the exception of some having all three. She eventually learns that she herself can see, speak to, and even command ghosts. She attends a college or university where she meets others who also have ghost-related abilities. A key part of the story involves a central romance with a male character who can also interact with the dead. However, whenever the main character touches him, he loses his powers—so he takes a special drug to maintain them, allowing their connection to continue despite the consequences. He loses his power cause the weaker of the two loses it when a person with power gets together.