I’m 28M and never had a relationship. I’ve been addicted to porn for around 18 years and even after quitting I still can’t approach women. It’s not just about love, even being around women makes me nervous or irritated. I’ve been through different kinds of therapy but nothing seems to work.
Can anyone suggest a book that could actually help me rewire my brain and restart my life?
by Careful_Prune_3627
10 Comments
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The 120 Days of Sodom
“Seventy times seven, no i in team” has some real life experiences told as a novel that may help, if you have kindle unlimited, its free to read right now
bell hooks is a great start, imo. The Will to Change and All About Love are both incredible.
try The Body Keeps the Score. It is about how our physical bodies manifest mental and emotional trauma. terrific read and an eye opening exploration of how of bodies work. It may help you see this situation in a new light.
women are just like you, full of all the fun, crazy, sad, extreme emotions.
I agree that self help is likely not necessarily going to help this particular pickle you’ve got yourself into. But reading for reading can help.
Here are some books from a women’s perspective that might help. I’m suggesting from a variety of genres so you might find something that aligns with your interest but is ….17degrees different from your current views…
Margo’s got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe- present day, regular fiction, might be funny
The Chemist by Stephanie Meyer-kind of spy thriller thing
The Great Circle by Maggie Sheepstead-historical fiction about a pilot in the years before WW2
Gone to Soldiers by Marge Piercy- several characters across the planet during WW2
A Long Way to an Angry Planet by Becky Chambers- SciFi a cast of various species on an adventure
Hate the Game by Daryl Fairweather- nonfiction, economist helps us to make Big Decisions in our lives
Note… they’re all written by women.
I have some great fiction female written books you may like reading ! They do a great job at showing female sexuality in all its weirdness and quirks and also how women can also be flawed, awkward and quirky which I think is quite a refreshing take on women and femininity.
They are quite out there so maybe not your thing, but thought I’d recommend them anyway
Big Swiss- Jen Beagin
All Fours-Miranda July
The Pisces-Melissa Broder
Convenience store woman- Sayaka Murata
I Who Have Never Known Men- Jacqueline Harpman
Anything written by Margaret Atwood and her interviews as well
All About Love-Bell Hooks, she also has a great one specifically for men called The Will to change
Nasty Women- Laura Jones
Men who hate women- Laura Bates, not saying you hate women of course, but it’s an interesting read and to give you an insight in how porn can shape our ability to be intimate.
I really really hope some of these help or at least give you some insight and wisdom. Best of luck on your journey ❤️
If you see the world through a window, and the only effort you give is to clean the window. You’ll be seeing a better sight of the view, but only through the glass. Sometimes you should open the window and let the wind to come in. Put your hand outside and see if something happens. What’s the worry when you have nothing to loose. All you’ll learn through your discomfort will only be an addition to your knowledge.
You don’t need a book to learn how to talk to women. Stop watching porn. They’re PEOPLE. They shit, cry, piss, fart, do everything men do. Stop elevating them to something they’re not.