Am I being too guilty for getting tangled up in the story of emotions?

(It’ll be long, apologies)

I started reading novels when I was going through something at 14. Got hooked to them for the next 2 years. We’re a big family and there’s no ‘free’ time and space but I’d read them late into the night and early in the morning when no one’s awake and during the breaks btw classes. It’s too much. The emotional energy that they stir through me so uncontrollable that I’d tear up every other chapter. ( My father always breaks into laughter; not in a mocking way but you know)

I took a break(5 yrs lol) and let life get in the way but it’s more of I couldn’t handle the energy and the ‘hangover’. But recently I picked up again and it’s the same. Man o’ man how I wish it to be other way around. I so empathise with the character; so get tangled up in the story that I just follow the author without any second thought or rationale. I sometimes wonder, after all the emotional discharge, what if the story is told through the words of the character that’s not given much space in the book. I’d answer I definitely will have the same reaction( depends on the story ; fall for the storytelling)

That seems to me a bit of a problem in the sense that I can’t go through the book and the characters without getting tangled up in the story of emotions. And I’m outright guilty of being too, I say too Emotional.

If you ask me to write an analysis of the book I one hundred percent couldn’t! Then what use is all this I wonder! Or am I just lacking some abstraction skills? Are books written to empathise with every character? Won’t that be taxing? How to wade through the story, you allow what it makes you feel at the same time you can deduce well thought conclusions?

I’d like some guidance; I like reading, there’s no doubt. And there a Lot more to read and certainly don’t wanna miss out. But something seems to be missing, a way to harmony? Lol..

Thanks a bunch!

by Livid_Vanilla2693