Existential Horror that will fuck me up

Hello!

I am looking for some horror recommendations of a very specific variety. Im interested in horror that is mainly existential and cosmic. I don't care about main characters, heros, or anything of that variety. I'm deeply uninterested in a spiritual or paranormal battle with the protagonist being the one person that can see ghosts or has a special ability to… Whatever. I don't want a specific antagonistic that I can point to and be like "if you just kill that dude, all your problems are solved", what i like to call "the guy with a knife." Who is probably just a metaphor for the persons trauma or something.

Essentially, I don't want to be reading the book and get to a point where I go "oh, thats the good guy, that's the bad guy and they'll fight in the next 3 chapters". I'm looking for horror where the "horror" is not a thing that could be pointed at, understood, and that (most importantly) the author or narrator is concerned about understanding it.

When people say "I read X genre for the escape from how shitty things are." I want the inverse. I want to say "things are shitty but at least they aren't THIS shitty".

Now, hopefully you're reading this and you are saying "oh, he wants House of Leaves" or "Definitely the Area X: The Southern Reach Quadrilogy" or even "this guy would love Tender is the Flesh or The Unworthy" because that's the type of book I want. We can also go much scarier than this.

In short. I'm looking for horror where there is not "ending", the world isn't saved, the bad guy isn't defeated. I want horror that is dissonent, fucks me up, makes me thinking about existence and hopeless.

Thanks, love you. Take care of yourselves!

Additionally, here's some books that I read this year that I liked (they may not necessarily fit this category that I'm describing)
– Jawbone
– Red Rabbit
– Mary: An Awakening of Terror
– Monstrillio
– Lapvona

Here's some books that I read that I didn't like
– White Horse
– Mean Spirited
– Ghost Wall