Book suggestions for someone who gets emotionally attached too fast

Hey everyone,

First time posting on Reddit, so apologies if this isn’t formatted perfectly. I’m a 23M looking for book recommendations that might help me understand (or reflect on) a recurring pattern in my relationships.

I tend to get emotionally attached way too fast to anyone I find even relatively attractive who shows me romantic interest. The result: I’ve jumped from one long relationship to another (each over two years) without giving myself much time to heal or figure out what I truly want. I recently ended a relationship of almost four years because I realized I was staying mostly for emotional comfort, not genuine connection.

It’s been about two months since, and I’ve caught myself in this “radar mode” — constantly scanning for someone that might interest me or show signs that they might be into me, even when I know it’s not healthy. I think this whole pattern comes from the fact that even when I meet someone I really like, I rarely take the initiative or show my intentions first. I wait. And then when someone does show interest, I dive in head-first.

I’ve realized that by not acting, I often end up feeling like I never truly choose, like things just happen to me. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s honestly how it feels.

I guess I’m looking for books that can help me reflect on emotional dependency, attachment, or how to act with intention when something actually matters to me. I usually read non-fiction, especially science, philosophy (mostly Stoicism) and psychology, but I’ve been trying to get more into fiction lately. For context, I’ve read Pride and Prejudice, 1984, Animal Farm, Metamorphosis, and I’m currently reading Crime and Punishment.

Any recommendations or thoughts are welcome — and again, it’s my first post here, so go easy on me 😅

Thanks in advance!