I'm having a hard time letting go of a brutally cyclical situationship. I'd like a book that can help me recognize the toxicity and make sense of the pain.
Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft is a good one. Helped me come to terms with my relationship.
Figsnbacon on
I don’t have a book but rather a suggestion. I have a friend who is going through a divorce and recovering from a very toxic relationship and betrayal from cheating as well. I follow her TikTok. I have learned SO MUCH about a past relationship with a narcissist boyfriend that messed with my head for years, just by watching her reposts of this kind of content. It’s all related to her recovery. The subjects she’s drawn to are trauma bond, betrayal, recovery from being with a narcissist, cheating, etc. TikTok of all places helped me make sense of it all.
r/abusiverelationships and r/emotionalabuse
also gladly help out, no matter your gender.
A good website that bundles and describes abusive behaviors is outofthefog.net
If you are out for a while and experience changes (especially brainfog, numbness or moodswings, intrusive thoughts or panic):
“The Body Keeps the Score”‘ by Bessel van der Kolk. The first part describing trauma from several perspectives (historical, neurological, political,…) and has the whole second half dedicated to healing methods. This book gives you a map of possible ways to heal the trauma.
If this book is too much at any point, just skip to the second half.
3 Comments
Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft is a good one. Helped me come to terms with my relationship.
I don’t have a book but rather a suggestion. I have a friend who is going through a divorce and recovering from a very toxic relationship and betrayal from cheating as well. I follow her TikTok. I have learned SO MUCH about a past relationship with a narcissist boyfriend that messed with my head for years, just by watching her reposts of this kind of content. It’s all related to her recovery. The subjects she’s drawn to are trauma bond, betrayal, recovery from being with a narcissist, cheating, etc. TikTok of all places helped me make sense of it all.
Are you out yet, dear?
If not then Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft is your first stop. The PDF is here:
https://archive.org/download/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
(direct download from internet archive)
r/abusiverelationships and r/emotionalabuse
also gladly help out, no matter your gender.
A good website that bundles and describes abusive behaviors is outofthefog.net
If you are out for a while and experience changes (especially brainfog, numbness or moodswings, intrusive thoughts or panic):
“The Body Keeps the Score”‘ by Bessel van der Kolk. The first part describing trauma from several perspectives (historical, neurological, political,…) and has the whole second half dedicated to healing methods. This book gives you a map of possible ways to heal the trauma.
If this book is too much at any point, just skip to the second half.