Looking for an average book

This is going to sound strange, I know. This is also not some short story or thing I came up with either.

I have extreme OCD to a debilitating degree. I am obsessed with books, but not in a usual way. I am less interested with the stories themselves, and more interested with the books that contain them. Books as physical objects.

For the last 2 years I have been on the hunt for the most average book in the world. The most cliched, stereotypical, trope filled novel imaginable. I have spent hours in bookstores looking for it. I go to Walmarts and airports as well, looking for a book that is so common that I cannot find it.

You may ask: “why?” But for me asking that is like asking why we breathe, or why you do anything you care about doing? Why does LeBron play basketball?

What I have found is that most books appear to be around 350 pages long on average. (100,000 words). So I have bought dozens of books (that I haven’t even read) that are around this length. I do give some lenience however, as 300-399 pages I find acceptable.

This is all I can find that sticks. I have dug to the bottom of TV Tropes and went through isles searching for YA Fantasy books that hit every cliche imaginable. The young farm boy becomes a hero. He fulfills the prophecy and slays the dark lord while finding himself in a love triangle at the same time.

However what I always find is some deviance from the tropes, be it there is something different from book to book that makes it something else and therefore not average.

Even a James Patterson thriller/mystery that hits that 350 page mark and is found in an airport has some kind of blurb on the back that attracts interest. It makes the reader want to read it, and since they are different from each other, none of them can be perfectly average.

The reason I believe that I am struggling is that it would have to be so forgettable that I pass it by every-time. My eyes aren’t drawn to it in any way so I look over it.

I want to think that this “book” does not exist so that my search can end. But it has to, because everyone deviates from it, and everyone is inspired from it.

This is not a joke or a metaphor for anything. I am writing this from inside of a bookstore because I need to find this supposed “book”.