People who share the same passion are really hard to find nowadays. Is it rude to say hello to a girl in public transit who’s reading and ask about the book or reading in general? Have you ever done this? What was the response? I always feel curious when I see someone reading in public like I want to know what book they’re into. But at the same time, I don’t want to come off as intrusive or weird (I'm not a weirdo btw). Some people just want peace and quiet especially on a bus or train or a flight but book conversations can be such a great way to meet someone genuine. Has anyone here actually started a friendship or relationship this way?
ps. I saw a cute girl reading 1984 on the train today.
by Delicious_Maize9656
25 Comments
Just do it !
I would be delighted if someone asked me what i was reading!! I think sharing passions is a positive thing, and (being autistic) books are my favourite thing
As with everything of this nature, situational context matters. I would say generally on public transport people don’t want to be bothered. If I really felt the need I’d throw out a small comment like “nice choice” as a temperature check to see how willing they are to have a conversation, and then leave it there if I didn’t get an enthusiastic enough response.
You can start a conversation but if you notice that the other person doesn’t seem like they want to talk, leave them alone. Some people really appreciate conversations with strangers whereas some, like you said, prefer to be left alone on public transport
As a frequent public transport reader, I’ve always hoped someone would come up to me and start a conversation!
I live in a country (maybe it’s more the city problem) where stranger connection isn’t really a thing, so I usually tell people they look good and ran away.
I’d say, if you see someone reading a book you’ve read, just let them know if neither of you is running out of a transport or something. If you want to have a conversation, just offer it, not demand it.
I think if you do it respectfully it can be okay, but every person will have different preferences about talking to strangers, so if someone isn’t interested, don’t take it personally.
I think the easiest way would be if the person is reading a book that you’ve _already_ read and loved. It doesn’t feel weird to me to have a stranger go, “oh, that book is amazing!” And then the person can respond or not.
Otherwise, you could make sure that _you_ also have a book out and are reading on the same public transit. If you have something marking you out as a fellow reader, it feels less potentially invasive than just commenting out of the blue.
To me, asking while you’re on a flight is slightly different than trying to strike up a convo with someone on their daily commute via bus, train or tube.
Often times people have books up as a bit of a shield to the outside world and I wouldn’t intrude on that unless you have clear signs that they’re happy to interact with others.
Finding people to chat about books with isn’t hard, there are book clubs, author events, even book bars which merge a solo activity with group dynamics. That’s a great place to meet other readers if you’re inclined.
Personally, I find talking to other people on public transit rude. It’s kind of a social construct to disassociate and let people do their own thing. Plus, you kind of have the person trapped if you talk to them. They can’t leave before their bus stop so they might feel obligated to talk to you even if they’re uncomfortable
>I’m not a weirdo btw
Unfortunately that’s not how it works lol
I don’t think it would be rude and I’ve had similar urge to break the ice with people. I love discussing what I’m reading, surely they do too
I don’t see the issue. I was reading in a 5 Guys when a woman came over to me and said that the book I was reading was one of her favourites. We had a wee chat and it was good to chat about the book.
Although I’m a white male who very rarely gets spoken to in public, so YMMV.
Would you feel the same if it was a middle aged man or elderly person? The fact you specifically said “a cute girl” makes me think that you’re not as interested in talking about books, moreso talking about books with a girl you’re attracted to.
There are two simple rules for interacting with someone you are trying to pick up.
rule 1: be attractive
rule 2: don’t be unattractive
*if* you’re a guy and specifically talking to a girl all of a sudden, you have to tolerate her hesitation. All in all I’m just parroting what the other replies said about watching their reaction. If they seemed uninterested in talking about it, leave them alone. There’s just one too many times where women tried to be nice to strangers and they ended up taking advantage of that. It’s not a personal attack on you specifically
Depends on the situation. I’m a woman and have had other women start up a conversation with my while I’m reading, but it’s always been because they recognise time book, want to read it themselves and ask me of its good etc.
I had a lovely old lady chat to me about books in a coffee shop. She wasn’t into my werewolf romance but loved telling me about her crime thriller.
I’ve never had a man approach me while I’m reading. If they did in the same tone as the women have I’d be cool with it.
I think trying to start a conversation with someone about the book they’re reading is possibly OK, as long as you immediately leave them alone if they seem like they’re not interested in actually having a conversation.
I wouldn’t mind if someone comes for a little chat about the book I’m reading, but sometimes I’m also not in the mood to engage with someone I don’t know. So you can definitely try, but you need to be able to read the room and leave the person alone if they don’t feel like talking/are feeling uncomfortable
As a woman I wouldn’t mind someone commenting but if I gave a short answer and turned back to the book, I don’t want to talk.
just don’t be weird, she can’t get away until her stop, personally, I would not approach like this on public transport, so easy to make someone uncomfortable and you might not even notice it you made her feel that way
Yes. Because you asked about a “girl,” not about a person, which demonstrates that it’s not about making friends with someone who shares your interests but about hitting on women.
Don’t talk to them if they have headphones in! Otherwise I say go for it, but you only get like 2-3 sentences, and if they don’t respond you need to move on without fuss.
You didn’t want to talk to her about her book, you wanted to talk to her because she’s cute.
People who read in public spaces are doing it because they don’t want to talk to randos.
If you are handsome it’s not rude, if you’re ugly it’s rude rude.
Jokes apart, I think it’s good to try politely and being a nice person, but you should ‘read the room’ and see if the person wants to get asked or not. If not, just accept it.
That’s how I met my best friend! This is not exactly relevant to your question, but I thought it would be cool to share.
We took the same bus to school every morning. I’d seen her around and thought she was very cool, but I was always too shy to say hello. Since I’d noticed that (a) she loved to read, (b) she was very extroverted, I figured the best way to get introduced would be to read a book in plain sight (kid logic). She came right over to ask what I was reading – fifteen years later we’re still close!
Can someone suggest me good book according to your choice (communication skills books)
DM me your book recommendation ☺️