Existential Romance

This is overly specific, sorry in advance! I’m looking for a romance with realistic, deep main characters who dont know how to love. I’m looking for a story of people with two bumpy pasts, who have a lot of trouble/doubt with getting together. I want to read a really tough ride to actual commitment!

I don’t read romance at all so I don’t really know what I’m getting into, but this is the arc I’ve been craving recently

(notes: I don’t really want a book with cheating. Hard no to on-page SA.)