I'm looking for books that try to open the eyes of the parents who were toxic and always try to dodge the responsibility and refuse to admit their mistakes.
There are a lot of self help books out there for the children of toxic parents, but I want the opposite.
My mother is bipolar, only recently diagnosed, and has what professionals have called "narcissistic tendencies". She wasn't an abusive monster and I know her own parents were indeed fucking monsters, but she did make a lot of mistakes raising me and my sister and refuses to acknowledge them, saying she did her best and neither me nor my sister have the right to feel hurt for the things she did to us because she was hurting too and we are selfish and yadda yadda for distancing ourselves now that we've grown. Anyways, I don't want to get into details.
My mother has been very passive agressive in the past, sending me posts and videos and gifting me books, all with the message of "we can't just blame our parents for everything". Victimization is a known pattern with her, and believe me when I say she has been in therapy for years, as have I, and all attempts to try to talk it out, alone or with our therapists, have ended up with her twisting my words and getting angry when the therapists try to get her to accept and admit that she does carry most of the blame and that I have always apologized for my mistakes and strived to try to better things, while she hasn't.
So, I'm looking for a book that might touch her, that might make her reflect and put things in a way that maybe, maybe, will cause a spark to fire and make her understand that yes, she was hurt by her own parents and maybe she did think she tried her best and that's admirable; but sometimes our parents' best (or what they think that is) isn't good enough and refusing to admit one's mistakes without spiraling into that "so I'm the worst person alive and you think I should die then?" keeps hurting your child and maybe they are right to leave.
I don't know if this is too specific, but my mother likes to read and I've tried to give her some mental health books suggested by our therapists before and she managed to twist it into her trying to diagnose ME with almost every disorder out there, so I want something that might hit these points and prevent that from happening again.
by In-Human