There are some books I truly enjoyed, but I usually keep them to myself when people ask for recommendations. It is not because they are bad. It is because they feel very personal, or because the experience depends a lot on the reader.
For me, Never Let Me Go is one of those books. I enjoyed it because of the quiet way it builds emotion and how it makes you reflect on small moments in life. At the same time, I hesitate to recommend it because it moves slowly and leaves you sitting with your thoughts. I know not everyone wants that kind of reading experience.
Another one is The Road. I appreciated the simple writing and the bond between the father and son. It stayed with me long after I finished it. I hesitate to suggest it because it is emotionally heavy and not something I think people should read unless they feel ready for it.
These books made me realize that liking a book and recommending a book are two very different things.
Is there a book you enjoyed but rarely suggest to others, and what makes you hesitate?
Thank you.
by gamersecret2
7 Comments
I don’t keep any books to myself. I even tell friends about books that I like that I know they won’t enjoy but I’ll tell them that. I’ll say I really love this book but I know you wouldn’t like it because of XYZ. Honestly I think it’s kind of judgmental to make that decision for someone else like deciding they’re not ready to read something.
I think it’s up to each individual to decide when they want to read a book and if they’re ready to read it. All I’m doing is giving them information and it’s really not my responsibility to make a choice or judgment as to when they should read a book.
Also if they don’t like it that’s fine. I don’t want to just discuss books with people who agree with me. I absolutely don’t mind if I like a book and someone else doesn’t like it. We can discuss why our opinions are different. It’s one way you learn about people and what their beliefs are.
Both of those are great!
I don’t really do this. My recommendations are driven by the tastes of the person I’m talking to. If I don’t know their taste, I try to describe books well enough to give them a sense for whether they’d enjoy them. I recommend Ishiguro books all the time and just mention that they’re slow and contemplative.
I really enjoyed The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman. It was probably my book of the year. I don‘t really recommend it to others because although it’s well written and anyone would enjoy the story, it’s a Camelot book. Like he did years of King Arthur research while writing it. If you’re not a Camelot nerd like me, I think a lot of the lore explanations, legend twists and reimaginings would be completely missed.
For me, I loved how it explained a lot of questions I always had about Camelot (”If Arthur pulled the sword from the stone, how was he given it by the Lady of the Lake?”) and some of the changes he made to the lore were very clever fresh takes. All of that is lost if you don’t know Lancelot’s story or if you never wondered what happened to Sir Kay.
Some books feel more like experiences than recommendations.
No. If I like a book, I’ll definitely recommend it to people if they ask. If they don’t like it, so be it. If they do, it’s an opportunity to talk about it more and enjoy it together.
A book doesn’t lose the personal feeling I get from reading it just because I recommended it to someone.
For me it’s The Bell Jar. I found it incredibly honest and beautifully written, but it’s also suffocating in a way that depends a lot on where the reader is mentally. I don’t avoid recommending it because it’s bad, I avoid it because it can hit too close to home for the wrong person at the wrong time.