I feel no joy.
I just feel like I am very superficial and there's nothing I will not do escape my current time. Every moment I keep searching distractions.
Everyone around me is so happy with me but I am not happy with myself. It's getting difficult with each day passing to live with myself and accept the reality about me.
Please suggest a book to distract me.
by luckybychanc
11 Comments
I can totally understand.
I’d suggest you to read
In the miso soup by Ryu murakami.
What sort of things do you like to read? I’ve just finished ‘A Gentleman in Moscow’ and I loved it. It’s a beautiful (and funny at times) book about a man condemned to live the rest of his life in a hotel. There is a political story line but at its heart it kind of about finding joy in life when your life is limited and stripped back to the bare essentials. It’s about connection, ritual and whether we accept our lot in life or try to make more of it.
I could see it being helpful for someone who is lacking joy.
Honestly, a book isn’t going to fix that. Talking to someone about it or seeking help is a much better bet OP
Addie LaRue
This is How You Lose The Time War <- don’t read the description for this one, it’s fun to go in blind
Well I don’t know if it will help ease that feeling but I can totally relate as using reading as an escapism. I would suggest a book like Lonesome Dove or Shogun. They are both quite the undertaking but 5 star reads you can completely lose yourself in. Fair warning though there is quite a lot of triggering content. They are historically accurate for the time periods though. Top tier novels.
I suggest taking a book on a hike. Whether you read or not is beside the point. I can speak from experience that Mother Nature has helped me get out of similar thought patterns.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. I’ve struggled with similar feelings for a long time. A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki was a great comfort to me when I first started feeling this way (I’d be rereading it soon if I hadn’t loaned my copy to my brother). I also find a lot of comfort in horror because at least life isn’t that bad. Junji Ito is my a favorite of mine; I’ve never read anything of his that I didn’t love. I hope you find some relief soon <3
Honestly, many if not most people go through periods of feeling these things – a sense of failure, depression, lack of motivation. There are many problems in the world right now that contribute to that feeling, and the social changes brought on by COVID have caused increased isolation that’s also compounded by our increasing enmeshment with social media and electronics.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Give yourself grace. Understand that you are not alone in feeling this way – part of the struggle is that you DO feel alone, but I promise that your feelings and struggles are shared by millions of people around the globe. Let yourself accept and feel your genuine feelings. They are not a problem. They are your body’s way of letting you know that you need a little adjustment. It is very important to go through the process of working through it, which means you need to stop trying to fix, shame, and avoid those feelings.
2. Communicate with yourself. This can be done through internal dialogue, actually talking out loud to yourself, or journaling, but you need to get in touch with yourself and begin the process of discovering what’s at the root of these feelings. There are things you need – maybe it’s social connection, or immersion in nature, or physical exercise, or a creative outlet. Maybe it’s a combination of things. Approach the idea with curiosity and not judgement. We all need to explore and discover what’s going on inside ourselves to live our best and healthiest life.
3. Try things. Don’t be afraid that something’s not going to work, don’t let your inner voice of doubt or anxiety keep you from trying the things that might help you. You can try therapy, art, learning a new skill, going for walks, swimming, joining a social group, doing volunteer work, gardening, spending time with animals (they can be incredibly healing), getting a pet if you are able to adequately take care of it and that’s something you want… There are so many things that can help you – you just need to find what you’re needing, and sometimes you don’t know so you just have to try things until you figure out what works for you.
4. Give yourself the same compassion and patience that you would give to others. It’s ok to not have it all figured out. No one does. I know it can feel like everyone else is just able to go through life doing what’s needed without too much difficulty and there must be something wrong with you to have these complex, ugly feelings and struggles. How do I know this? I feel it. And I have learned that most people deal with feelings like this in one way or another. Sometimes it doesn’t seem that way or people don’t let you know that, but it’s true. It can really help to find people who ARE open to sharing these messier parts of themselves… I know that can be especially hard for guys, but you just have to keep meeting people and trying. If you don’t give up, you WILL eventually find your people. I’m sorry it’s so hard.
Keep trying. Don’t give up. You’re not broken or alone in the world (at least no more than anyone else). You’re going to be ok… You are just in a rough spot right now. These feelings are temporary. They *can* last a long time, but they are NOT fixed or permanent. It’s a tough time to be alive and sometimes it feels like hope is in short supply right now. Keep it anyway. We’re going to get through this.
I’ve always been that person who felt lonely, even in a crowd. Until audiobooks became digital, I would only listen to them while driving. Since the library began using an app (Libby) I’ve been listening to audiobooks constantly. The ongoing story has worked miracles for me. I no longer feel lonely. I am however, addicted to listening to them all the time. If you’re interested in me showing you how to set up an online account PLMK
Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn.
But I would also suggest you seeing someone, hon. I know that despair. Hugs!
I actually have the perfect book for you.
It’s called One’s Company by Ashley Hutson. After experiencing a traumatic event, a woman only finds comfort by obsessively watching re-runs of the a 70s sitcom to distract herself. When she wins the lottery, she uses the money to construct a detail-for-detail replica of the show’s set with the intention of locking herself inside it and reenacting episodes for the rest of her days.
Other books that might help get you out of your funk:
The Wedding People by Alison Espach: A woman checks into a 5-star hotel with the intention of ending her life. She is the only guest who isn’t there for an expensive, elaborate wedding. After she finds herself stuck in an elevator with the bride and confessing her intentions, the bride wraps her up in the wedding festivities and she has a huge reckoning with her life.
Anxious People by Fredrick Backman: Down on his luck, a man decides to rob his local bank. In between the planning and execution, the bank has been converted into luxury condos and he accidentally holds up an open-house filled with the worst hostages imaginable.
Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson: A woman becomes a nanny for two children who spontaneously burst into flames.