I recently found out that my grandma secretly thinks i am ugly. I knew I was never particularly attractive, but when your grandma thinks youre chopped, you know its serious (a face only a mother could love, etc)
It didnt necessarily hurt my feelings, but ive been thinking about it a lot. A large part of me already accepted that I am average under the best of circumstances, but another part of me wonders what it would be like if I cared more about being attractive. Im also a butch lesbian of color, so i think that complicates how people may or may not perceive me as pleasant to look at. Anyways Ive never really read anything on the politics of beauty and being attractive, and I was seeking more context to continue to develop my thoughts on it. I want to better understand my place in the world I guess and hear from others like me. I was thinking maybe a memoir or a more sociology/essay type of thing. Especially from other poc/lgbtq angle if possible.
I always remind myself of the James Baldwin quote about books helping us to not feel alone.
Thank you for reading
by pineconeW
1 Comment
Damn, grandmas can be brutal sometimes. For what it’s worth, butch energy is attractive as hell to the right people
For books, definitely check out “Beauty Sick” by Renee Engeln – it’s more psychology focused but hits on how beauty standards mess with all of us. Also “Sister Outsider” by Audre Lorde has some incredible essays about existing as a Black lesbian in spaces that weren’t made for her. Her writing might really resonate with what you’re going through
Your Baldwin quote is perfect btw – these books will definitely make you feel less alone in this