TL;DR I need books for a 6 year old about abuse, neglect, bullying, and divorce/separation.
The long story:
My child is turning 6 in a week and is going through a lot. Over the past 6 months, they have been left alone in a locked car TWICE by the mother AND told me "Mommy hurts me" while punching their own leg (Yes, CPS and the police got involved, but nothing really happened). The three of us live in the same house, but I moved into my child's room around 6 months ago. We're effectively separated at this point, and I have plans to move the two of us out as soon as I can afford it. Mom is essentially a deadbeat. She is willingly unemployed and doesn't do any of the actual parenting. I take my kid to and from school, doctor's appointments, etc. Mom spends less than an hour with our kid every day. She even ditched us on Christmas day to go see a friend. She is fully checked out as a parent (and spouse, but that's not what I care about right now).
Recently, my little one has been acting out. I'm guessing that they're starting to pick up on some things, and being this young, doesn't really know how to understand or cope with it all. At daycare, they mentioned to an adult that they miss mommy because she's never home (mom is home, she is just in her room playing video games or on her phone all the time).
I have already reached out and am in the process of getting my kid into therapy, but I was hoping someone out there would have some good suggestions on books we could read together to explain some of what's going on, or at least open up the conversation a little bit. I have seen a lot of suggestions surrounding the divorce topic, but all of them depict two parents that love their kid. I want/need to explain to her that if someone loves you, they will show you by spending time with you, talking to you, showing up for you, etc. That just because one parent sucks, doesn't mean you're not worthy of love. That someone putting their hands on you is not okay (we already have the "Where Hands Go" series, but that's more about inappropriate touching, not physical harm).
My parents divorced when I was in my mid-20s, so I'm at a real loss here. I have no idea how to talk to her, and reading books together seems to help. When our dog got sick, we read "The Rainbow Bridge" and another book about pet death, and then we made an ofrenda for our dog. It really seemed to help both of us process everything. Any and all recommendations would be appreciated. We have a library card, and I'm willing to buy books if I need to. I just want my kiddo to be okay.
by ENBY_Bumblebee
2 Comments
When Sad, Scary Things Happen: Coping with Childhood Trauma
The Invisible String
A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children who Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma
Once I Was Very Very Scared
Healing Days
Any good child therapist will have recommendations of books to read. There are books written for specific difficult topics that you wouldn’t find in Barnes and Noble, they’re the kind of thing psychologists purchase to use with clients. They should also be able to point you towards some more “mainstream” ones. Also, ask your local librarian! Email them if you want to stay anonymous, but they’ll definitely be able to find recommendations for you, it’s part of their job.