I enjoyed this book from the beginning, but then about halfway through I thought I knew where this was going and wondered how there was still so much of the book left. Turns out I had no idea! I thought about it a lot and this is my theory. What do you guys think?
Spoiler ahead!
>!Towards the end of part one the narrator is experiencing a lot of pressure. She can't get the scene right, she's paranoid the crew is talking about her behind her back, she's contemplating about the miscarriage she's had in the past and how she never truly got to grieve it. On top of everything she is also having trouble in her marriage and worries it is falling apart.
At the end of part one everything comes down at her at once: the pressure to perform, a message from her husband that looked like bad news. How could anyone deal with it all at once?
My theory is that she doesn't. She experiences some kind of mental breakdown or cognitive dissonance and actor and character become one. The narrator previously mentioned, how she doesn't understand how her character in the play gets from A to B.
She describes them as two different characters going even as far as secretly accusing the writer to have gotten bored with the character and simply changing her into a new one. The same happens to the main character. Her life is suddenly so different, we might as well be following a different main character, but we aren't.
This coping mechanism allows her to fully immerse into her role and deliver her best performance to date. The people around her seem to be aware of her mental state but enable her delusions rather than getting her help, because they understand that those are what make her so brilliant. This is why in the second part of the book the narrator can not remember significant parts of her son's childhood and doesn’t trust her own memory. Her family is constantly referring to a „rift“, but the protagonist doesn’t understand what they mean by it. She assumes that they are talking about a rift between herself and her son, but they are talking about a rift in her reality.
We hear about struggling real life actors who are enabled by everyone around them in our real lives all the time and even the narrator herself tells Xavier the story of working with an actor who was suffering from dementia and how we was enabled by everyone on set.
The bitter irony: She contemplates about how she was never again able to fully enjoy the actors performance after she found out the truth about his condition, even calling it cruel. Not knowing of course that this is going to be her own fate. !< >!Towards the end of part one the narrator is experiencing a lot of pressure. She can't get the scene right, she's paranoid the crew is talking about her behind her back, she's contemplating about the miscarriage she's had in the past and how she never truly got to grieve it. On top of everything she is also having trouble in her marriage and worries it is falling apart.
At the end of part one everything comes down at her at once: the pressure to perform, a message from her husband that looked like bad news. How could anyone deal with it all at once?
My theory is that she doesn't. She experiences some kind of mental breakdown or cognitive dissonance and actor and character become one. The narrator previously mentioned, how she doesn't understand how her character in the play gets from A to B.
She describes them as two different characters going even as far as secretly accusing the writer to have gotten bored with the character and simply changing her into a new one. The same happens to the main character. Her life is suddenly so different, we might as well be following a different main character, but we aren't.
This coping mechanism allows her to fully immerse into her role and deliver her best performance to date. The people around her seem to be aware of her mental state but enable her delusions rather than getting her help, because they understand that those are what make her so brilliant. This is why in the second part of the book the narrator can not remember significant parts of her son's childhood and doesn’t trust her own memory. Her family is constantly referring to a „rift“, but the protagonist doesn’t understand what they mean by it. She assumes that they are talking about a rift between herself and her son, but they are talking about a rift in her reality.
We hear about struggling real life actors who are enabled by everyone around them in our real lives all the time and even the narrator herself tells Xavier the story of working with an actor who was suffering from dementia and how we was enabled by everyone on set.
The bitter irony: She contemplates about how she was never again able to fully enjoy the actors performance after she found out the truth about his condition, even calling it cruel. Not knowing of course that this is going to be her own fate.!<
by Ordinary-Genius2020