Hello! I'm not sure if this is the right sub to ask this, but maybe someone here would understand my very specific plight: when I am around other people, I am either paying too much attention to them that I'm not in touch with myself or my own feelings, leading to exhaustion and resentment. OR I am so aware of myself and my feelings that I become withdrawn and hesitant to engage in social situations, second guessing everything.
It's similar when I am simply around other people; I question myself on whether I should be paying more attention to them or to me, as I naturally want to help others feel comfortable and welcomed. But then I question whether I'm doing so because I want validation from them, or just because it feels good to share energy like that.
I often find myself not able to "hold frame" very well, and tend to go with the flow, even when I do have opinions, but just don't feel comfortable sharing them or don't feel safe. uBt I would like to become the kind of person who's confident and holds frame very well and is articulate in thoughts, opinions, and tells a good story. But often I lose steam and falter because I'm too anxious of what people think.
So are there any good books that would help me understand and adopt a technique or ways to manage my attention and energy around other people?
Any recs would be much appreciated!
by caramocha009