I’m looking for novels, memoirs, or essay collections that include reflective, frank exploration of parenthood. Not self-help or data-driven, but something encouraging or thought provoking for a young adult getting ready to become a first time parent. Some darkness or sadness is welcome but please no domestic horrors!!
by catattack447
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Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year by Anne Lamott. It’s such a beautiful tribute to motherhood and to her son. I didn’t read this until after my son was born so it may have resonated more once I was a mom, but give it a go and see what you think – and if it’s not hitting the mark now, re-read it when your baby arrives!
misconceptions by Naomi wolf?
Like a mother
The Ten Greatest Gifts I Give My Children by VanNoy. It’s not a how-to. It’s an exploration of our role as parents, our expectations, etc. I wish I had read it when my kids were little. I learned how my lack of confidence and clarity affected my parenting, and I saw things a bit more through the eyes of my kids.
This one’s a comic but really resonated with me in the early, lonely nights. Go to Sleep / I Love You by Lucy Kinsey. ❤️
Baby Blues by Scott and Kirkman
1000 Days of Wonder
Child of mine. It’s a collection of essays about parenthood.
We Were the Universe by Kimberly King Parsons is ultimately a book about family grief (TW: sibling loss) but is the most accurate depiction of parenting a young child (3 y/o) I have read. Those parts are very funny. It is a great book.
Matrescence by Lucy Jones
The push by Ashley audrain
Waiting for Birdy
Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy, A Life’s Work by Rachel Cusk, My Work by Olga Ravn, The Breaks by Julietta Singh, And Now We Have Everything by Meaghan O’Connell
Ooh I have two great lists I wish I could link to but I recently learned Bookshop links are not allowed (oops 😅). I would say:
-Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos by Lucy Knisley (graphic memoir)
-Go to Sleep (I Miss You) by Lucy Knisley (comics)
Some of my favorite novels with honest depictions of motherhood are in the horror category, so I won’t list those here. But here’s some fiction that are NOT horror:
-Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe (a very funny book!)
-Life Among the Savages by Shirley Jackson (she was mostly known for her horror, but when she was alive, she was most famous for her humor writing about raising a family that was mostly published in women’s magazines!)
-This is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch by Tabitha Carvan (so so good, about finding joy in loving something unabashedly, and how women are often judged for what they choose to love when men are not–written by a mom who had somewhat lost herself in motherhood)
If you do want to veer into nonfiction that’s NOT how to but still thought provoking:
-The Good Mother Myth by Nancy Reddy (debunks some of attachment theory & explains how it was created by mediocre white men who were absent dads and didn’t listen to the women in their lives)
-The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read 9and Your Children Will be Glad that You Did) by Philippa Perry — especially great if you’re healing from trauma yourself
-Transformed by Birth by Britta Bushnell (more of a philosophical guide for labor, but tbh, I didn’t remember any of it while in labor haha)
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) was a game changer for me. Written by a psychologist and helped me understand how my upbringing effects my parenting and how to work through stress/impatience/anger.