Books about a hyper-independent main character who doesn’t “soften up” or become “less avoidant” that is also exiled?

I want a book where the main character is exiled, heavily emotionally guarded and avoidant, extremely independent and if they have to interact with people, only do so with their hearts at an arms length. Inside they are quite soft but they don't get "better" by the end of the book.

Instead their character development comes from change of intellectual perspective or methods or how they change the people around them without changing their coping mechanisms.