Literary erotica where the woman is in control and the guy is not an aggressive brute? Like maybe he’s really nice and a little shy? And the characters/story are well-written?

Hi, I'm looking for an erotic book where the men aren't overprotective, aggressive, and angry. I find that sort of thing alarming and not sexy at all. I'm also not really looking for a book where the man is a masochist either. Just like, respectful of the woman's boundaries and she probably does most of the initiating.

I do find it rather annoying that like 95% of literary erotica features submissive women and some sort of violence against them. No shame if that's what you're into, I don't think liking that sort of thing means you're anti-feminist. But it's telling that if I pick up any random heterosexual erotic novel, I can be pretty certain that at some point it's going to feature physical or sexual violence towards women.

And I'm not especially looking for books where the guy is a masochist either, although I did enjoy reading "Venus in Furs" by Sacher-Masoch. If any of you have ever read or seen the play "Jonah", a character like Steven is exactly what I'm looking for.