Both of my parents are avid readers, and they raised me to love books as well. However, there’s a significant generational gap between us—they’re nearing their seventies, and I’m in my early twenties—which often leads to differences in perspective and tolerance. It is a common scolding I get from them that they chose not to have children when they were younger because they wanted to give me a better life when they’re doing that “placing the duties and responsibilities they undertook when they chose to become a parent over my head” thing.
I’ve struggled with grief throughout my adolescence and young adulthood, but it’s been difficult to seek comfort from them. Their responses are often dismissive or judgmental. For example, questioning how I could feel depressed when I’ve always had a roof over my head and enough to eat. It’s exhausting to explain repeatedly that I aspire to more than a person who has accomplished a traditional education and has a job that allows me to house, feed, and clothe myself.
They understand themes like human suffering and cognitive dissonance in literature, yet seem unable to extend that same understanding to me. I had more or less accepted this dynamic because I attributed it to cultural and generational differences. I was just going to take my frustrations and grievances to the grave but I’m now more concerned because of my younger sister.
I was more of a crier when we fought but she argues and yells back so of course it’s disrespect. She does things that “upset” them more. One of them being she works part-time while still in high school and spends her earnings on cosplay, which they view as a waste of time compared to focusing on her current academics and getting into a great college. She is obviously much more headstrong than I am because I feel like filial piety is woven into the very fabric of my being and so it always clashes with my personhood.
I care deeply about her and want her to navigate adulthood with less of this emotional strain. I’m hoping to find a book that reflects parent-child dynamics in a way that could help them better understand our perspective and, ideally, become more open and empathetic. I just want them to understand the world we are dealing with is fairly different to the world they dealt with. Therapy is definitely the better option but who the hell has money for that in this economy.
by lalalandisidk