I've spent basically all of my life in my head. As a kid that was to cope with a shitty situation outside of my control, but I've come to realize as an adult that this coping mechanism no longer serves me. I want to live in reality. I want to look back at my life and know that I gave all that I could, and I embraced all the world offered.
The issue is reality is overwhelming. I do not trust people, and that includes myself. I am not sure how to cope with the fact that I'll die one day. I'm not sure how to stop carrying around so much anger and grief for things I can't change. There are so many complex things that come with being a human in this world and I don't know how to deal with them, so my instinct is to go numb or run. All I've done up until now is endure, but I want to truly live.
Sorry this is a pretty broad topic, but honestly… I'm scared of everything. I'm open to any genre and the subject doesn't have to literally be about being afraid to live. If you think it applies it probably does.
It can be philosophy, poems, biographies, fantasy, non-fiction, or whatever. I'm not religious, but I'm open to something that is about how to perceive the world vs trying to convert me. I don't like self-help books, but if you swear to me its a good one I'll at least look it up lol.
Thank you in advance for your time.
by LocalSharkAngry