So I would really like to read self-help books, since I (F, 22) can't go not afford therapy privately. I am studying to be a teacher and in Germany, where I live, I might not be able to become a civil servant if I go to therapy.
I have always been teased since I was little and all these people said that there is something wrong with me and that I'm weird. I got bullied severally throughout 7th grade for my large breasts and have had a lot of insecurities about my body. The teasing never stopped only once I graduated high school. Last summer I got a breast reduction which my health insurance didn't pay for, which I'm so angry about. I got a Boyfriend around that time aswell, but I broke Up with him in january since I lost all Attraction towards him and felt repulsed by the thought of having Sex with him. I would Like to have Sex with the right person! I dont want to be a virgin anymore! I am extremely critical towards myself, not just my Body but my actions and words. Im constantly doubting myself and overthinking everything. I am so angry at the world and its people for being so mean and dismissive of my pain and suffering. I want the people who have hurt me to suffer Just Like me, but then I also think that No one deserves what has happend to me.
I cant forgive nor forget but I want to let Go and make Peace with myself and get rid of my self destructive tendensis and my depressive rotting. I want to become completly confident in myself. I have already healed so much but I am still holding Back and suffering in silence. I now know that people Like me for me and that they Love me but I dont Like myself Sometimes. I Love myself but dont Like some parts of me.
Please leave some suggestions🫶
by adorableCutiepie