I dropped out of middle school at 6th grade to be precise due to adversities I was facing in my personal life. To name a few, my mom was a drug addict, her brother would beat me (to the point where I’d pass out/bleed) she has 4 of them, and they’re macho gym men so that was fucked. I was being sexually assaulted by a man at a corner store for a year, I was homeless after my mom reprimanded me shortly after she kicked me out after she got a call from CPS, I fell into addiction from 13-16, sleeping at parks and schools for 3 months. She also would chase me around with knifes when she was coked out, and was never present for any birthdays of MINE. Matter of fact she came home after she got raped. I’ve had mere consistency my whole life, being my sister. I was forced to drop out of school because my mom (she’s better now, still trapped inside of a deluded self aggrandizing juvenile mindset) BUT she unenrolled me because of the severity of my beatings. She would defer anytime I’d ask her to reenroll me. This isn’t even all of it but you can understand the problem now. I NOW, don’t go through any of wreckage I was 2 years ago. At this point though I’ve been stripped of my rights to a proper education due to my mother, also I live in a not so well neighbor, so you can imagine the educational disparities faced. Even in 6th grade nothing registered.
I feel disappointed myself and I am introspective enough to admit I am fucking stupid. I don’t know anything in terms of general knowledge, I don’t know WTF happened in ww2, I don’t know shit about health, NOTHING about history. I mean sure yeah who the hell were our presidents were, but I don’t know any pivotal moments about history. No idea what the Roman’s stemmed from, or the declaration of independence. I know nothing emphasis on the nothing. No health, no math, geometry and algebra couldn’t tell you a thing. Just know I don’t know anything. I’m currently studying to get my GED and yes I’m doing community in August but my brain aches and I cry hysterically because I don’t know WTF I’m reading or whatever the hell my friends are talking about. Anytime they talk about it just becomes a massive psychological conundrum for me. I’m sick of this, I really want to grow knowledge on history like be able to go into the specifics of it at that, sociology, really anything I should’ve picked up on at school. Really I’ve always wanted to be disgustedly educated and it’s evident it’s not insurmountable I just had a substantial setback but I am taking the initiative to change this because it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. What I’ve endured is my incentive to do more, I actually write zines my incentive being children never have to go through the wreckage I went through. I now built my idealism around helping children who are in the same boat I was once in. Going a bit astray here, sorry.
I pretty much need help and would love book recommendations or videos that can help me. Preferably books, or even things that you picked up on in school. Even if they may seem minuscule, I don’t care. I would love to know, I am just desperate to learn absolutely everything. Like really I want to be ridiculously educated. General knowledge, education is crucial to me and I lack LOTS of that. Thank you, please help me seriously. Like actually
by pearl68st