I had been hearing a lot about it, and when one of my friends messaged me out of nowhere to say I should read it, I did! I am having a bit of a book hangover because that ending had me… wtf?! From here until the end, this is full of spoilers!
I have to say, the general premise of this book was nothing like what I expected. Modern day tradwife influencer goes back in time and has to actually live like a tradwife, doing her own work, etc etc… it was so much more than that. My partner knew this much about the book, and I struggled to tell him wtf I actually read afterwards LOL.
I LOVE a good unreliable narrator. So I quickly fell into how much of an unlikable character Natalie was, and then as the book progressed, I appreciated the way the author made it very we don't entirely know what is happening here… I thought it was funny when she would insult people in her head and then give a perfectly nice response in real time, and it was funny when she would let her mask down and accidentally say it out loud (like in the grocery store parking lot or when she calls FIL an asshole over the phone near the end) and, of course, by then we know she is at least somewhat losing her mind, and by the end, we really have no idea what happened with certainty. We have to figure that one out ourselves with what we've been given by this narrator.
I thought that Natalie was very much a product of her environment, and that was sad. It was depressing to watch her relationship with her mother and sister deteriorate, especially when they still made efforts to reach out to her and be open with how their religious views and beliefs were changing and evolving in what sounded like a positive way. It's perfectly okay for that to happen, especially when they had such a fundamentalist sort of view, right?! But she just took it as two women being bad Christians. I was so looking forward to a sister bonding moment in the scene when Natalie's sister goes off on Natalie about how exhausting motherhood and marriage is, but Natalie just had to be a jerk and say something along the lines of "your marriage is not my problem" and pushes her away. Natalie, over and over and over, had opportunities to get the help she needed, or someone would reach out to her, but every time, she took the "I'm better than you" approach, and alienates herself from any and all women in her life.
I couldn't help but laugh at Caleb. They just made him such a loser. It was crazy to me that Natalie would be on the phone with Doug and just discussing how they could fix Caleb, make him more masculine, etc etc. I liked Natalie saying she should have been the man and Caleb be the women. It really got into the traditional gender roles and you could see Natalie would just have none of Caleb's "non masculine" sort of goals or wants or needs. Caleb could have gone into being a kindergarten teacher, but that wasn't manly enough. Natalie had to orchestrate their whole life, AND have Doug be in on it as well. Natalie had to take the initiative, have a secret deal with the father in law, she even calls it a gentleman's agreement. This is all traditional, basic masculine behaviour, and I thought it was very entertaining to write in.
It was very funny but also had me on the edge of the seat every time we would go "back in time" for the novel. Caleb was masculine and didn't have problems in the bedroom, Natalie truly did trad wife work rather than having hired staff, Natalie's daughter Mary was being Natalie's mother, Maeve and Natalie actually loved each other. Natalie even said at one point she could see the irony in having a million children for her to just love the last one. I liked that every chapter we had no idea what was actually going on. I really thought it was going to be some sort of reality tv show, especially when she found the microphone, but they even put that into the end reveal – someone says that sometimes Natalie thinks she's finding microphones. What REALLY revealed it to me, though, was when Maeve is sick and Caleb says "remember she isn't vaccinated"… when it is supposed to be 1855. I still wasn't sure what was going on for sure, but that confirmed to me that we were not really in the timeline or year we were supposed to be in.
I really liked it that Clementine was able to escape and get the younger kids out. I loved when they were leaving, everybody was crying, and Natalie just puts a smile on and waves goodbye – as per her mother's advice, pretend everyone is watching you, and at that moment, they were. Natalie did everything she was supposed to do: be a good wife, be submissive, have babies, etc… but she could never find the happiness or fulfillment that she needed. Of course, that's because these things don't automatically just make a woman have a fulfilling, happy life, but that was never taught to her.
Shannon's assault/SA: this was so weird to me! It really showed Natalie's rage bursting out after all of this time. Shannon really got her good with that insult, and Natalie finally lost it. Was it actually sexual, though? I don't quite think so. She mentions that Shannon was in her underwear first thing when Natalie walks into her room, and specifically says that Shannon didn't bother to even zip her pants up when she does get dressed. I assumed that while it was happening, and Natalie kept mentioning Shannon's underwear, it was all just part of "fuck this woman for sleeping with my husband and insulting me over it/fuck this woman for giving my husband an erection when he won't get one for me" sort of thing. Natalie hates women, and it seems on brand for her character to notice something like that. Maybe Shannon twisted it to the sexual angle because she knows Natalie was so religious, and that would make a lot of her fan base turn on her. Natalie is absolutely one of those women who would blame the "other woman" rather than blame her husband for the affair. Of course, that's just how I took it!
Reena: I thought this was a weird but fun little part that would show up every so often in this book. Of course, Natalie hates her. She has no sympathy for Reena or what she's gone through. But, Natalie makes a point to say that she follows Reena well into adulthood. She says that Reena had no success but she clearly did by the end, which again just shows that Natalie can't even acknowledge another woman's success. Natalie asks Reena about her personal life because to Natalie, all that matters about a woman is if she has a husband and children. But what I liked the best was at the end with Reena, and Natalie thinks to herself about how lucky Reena is that Natalie was there, that Natalie demanded Reena be the person to interview her like it was a favour. It just shows that after all of these years, after reading all of the insanity we just read, Natalie has not changed one bit, and she is truly delusional by this point.
In the end, I think the trad wife fad is… not good. It discredits the women themselves, nevermind others (i.e., not giving your children a proper education, like Caleb and Natalie did)…these women do all of this work (supposedly, I guess Natalie didn't actually) work all day doing physical labour, cooking, cleaning, etc etc and film and edit all of it after, they pull in money from the views, and then they just call themselves trad wives like it is nothing. Oh, my husband brings in the money! He works hard all day! No, girl, give yourself some credit where credit is due!
Angry Women: I liked that Natalie was so obsessed with what the Angry Women thought, how she would go off on a rant about these stupid Angry Women, they hate Natalie because they know Natalie is such a better woman than they could ever be… of course, this is ironic because Natalie is the true Angry Woman. How many times did she insult other women, tell them they were stupid, they didn't understand, the haters and snarkers follow her the way she follows Reena… she didn't seem to care about the Manosphere or what those men thought about her (other than when Caleb would tell her) her main audience and what she really cared for was what the women thought of her.
On the other side, I thought it was very interesting to see and hear the Manosphere stuff and how easily Caleb got sucked in. Again, he's a loser of a man. Even though he went to Harvard, he isn't even smart enough to realize what he's reading online is not true. Natalie says a lot of the time Caleb is just online all day reading this stuff, and Caleb explains at one point the whole forum concept, says he's on multiple ones… it's very easy to see how he got to this point, and he eventually starts teaching this to his children. To be honest, I don't think I have read any modern books that include anything like this before, so I appreciated that it was put in. I also really liked when he goes to Natalie and asks if she knew none of it was true, she says yes, and he asks why she didn't tell him. She just shrugs and says she was trying to be a good Christian wife. Why would she contradict her husband or tell him he's wrong when he believes so strongly in what he is reading? This, unfortunately, seems like a very basic thing that could (and probably has) happened in real life.
The end had some flaws. I wish we got some more answers. What happened to Caleb? I wanted more information on Maeve and her disabilities after we learned she was born with no oxygen and delayed going to the hospital. That was literally one sentence saying she had some problems, and they never got back into it. I know it doesn't really matter in the long run and bigger plot of the story, but I'd like to know how they lived with her disabilities while also living out in a cabin with supposedly no resources. She is high functioning, but I wanted more from that, and I honestly didn't even put that together until they fully explained it. Everything felt rushed at the end, but I can also at least see this adds to the unreliable narrator and we won't ever know what fully happened for sure.
I thought that this was a very unique and strange book, but I really liked it. It was interesting to read fiction that was so modern. I am used to reading texts or online messages in books now, but a full influencer reading comments and filming her life with a conspiracy theorist constantly online husband was brand new to me in a book/plot. I liked just how hateful Natalie was and it made the read comical at times – I loved at the end when Caleb asks a question and Natalie says in her head, "excellent question, you idiot" she just hates everybody around her and always has something snarky or mean to say in her head first. She's the kind of person that would be miserable no matter what is happening in her life, good or bad.
Some questions for discussion that I have:
- Would Natalie have been better off as a man? Would she be a traditional man still, caring for her family and providing for them? Or would she be overwhelmed at the work that needs to be done? Would she develop sympathy for Caleb?
- Natalie's mother is healing at the end, and, religion uninvolved, she straight up asks Natalie why can't she just be kind. Why is Natalie so rude, hateful, and miserable? It could be easily explained as "she's trapped in this lifestyle, she doesn't like being a mother" but she seems to be unhappy before/during Harvard as well.
- What happened to Caleb by the end? Did his father pay off judges to keep him out of jail?
- What happened to the money she had set aside? She was charged with wire fraud – was that because of the money? Why didn't that go to the kids?
- Near the end, Caleb says "you've always thought so little of me" – if he knows that his wife thinks little of him, why wouldn't he step up his game as a husband, especially if divorce is not an option? Or, is he following along what Natalie says to look like a good husband, because he knows deep down she is the boss?
by cactusplantlady