So I’ve been struggling with this for awhile. When i’m in an uncomfortable conversation with my partner or a conversation I don’t want to be apart of I shut down emotionally and go completely cold causing my partner to find a solution to an issue on her own.
She ask me to contribute but in the moment i feel so uncomfortable and uneasy that I have nothing to say, I the. get upset because I’m uncomfortable and am in the middle of this uneasiness. I feel like I don’t have the proper tools to contribute in the moment. I want to be able to face issues head on, when i start feeling that uneasy / uncomfortable feeling know that it’s happening (which I already do know in the moment when it’s happening) but I want to have a solution on what to do the moment I start feeling that. And possibly dig a bit deeper to know were these triggers come from (how my childhood and handling anger / uncomfortableness when I was younger lead me to acts like this as an adult).
Overall I’m not sure if it’s an anger response. When i’m upset I don’t really yell or raise my voice but i’m extremely cold and quiet to the person I’m upset with.
It’s something I want to work on in therapy but don’t have the money to do it at the moment so I want to at least start somewhere with a couple of book recommendations.
by Elsasii