These days im reading ***The Art of Loving*** *by* Erich Fromm, and there are some thoughts knock my head.
1. Loving is not an innate ability, nor is it the feeling driven by dopamine and endorphins, it is a kind of ability that needs to be learned. Why do some people get divorced three or four times? Maybe the problem is not that you haven’t met the right person, but that you don’t know how to love?
2. Loving needs us to fight against our nature. Most of us love because the wanting of makin our presence felt, but maintaining love requires fighting instincts and focusing on the interests of others. Love is giving but does not mean sacrifice. When you illuminate the other person with love, his/her lives vitality is awakened, then you gain happiness in return.
3. Recognize that you have an independent personality. Mature love is to combine with the other person while maintaining your independence and integrity.
4. Most of the time I live as an object, labeled with various label, but love makes me feel that I am still a living person. Love is not trouble, but an adventure for the brave, as I put the right to hurt myself into the hand of the other person.
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by madmap132