Has this happened to anyone?
For context, I have been in therapy and have struggled immensely with mental health. One of the key things I’ve learned to help was avoiding sad music, topics, movies and that included books.
I did start a book and I’m halfway through finishing it. It is probably the best book I’ve read in a while. However throughout this whole “healing journey” it’s been making me hesitant to finish this book because it is quite depressing/emotional and touches on things that’ll make my cry.
I feel guilty and ashamed I refuse to finish this book. Its stellar, but I’m so worried if it’ll pull some strings or make me triggered. I’m trying so hard not to indulge on sad/emotional forms of media and entertainment. But I feel like I’m going about it in a wrong way.
Should you continue reading even if the book is deemed too sad for my liking, or should I suck this up?
by sar71799
12 Comments
When my mom was in the hospital, I started reading a YA book that I didn’t realize was about a boy who lost his mother. It made me so sad and I couldn’t finish it, even though the book itself wasn’t sad. There is no such thing as a bad reason to stop reading a book — you can stop anytime you like. If you think it’s well written, maybe one day when you’re in a different place it will return to you and you’ll be able to appreciate the growth you’ve made.
I could have written this exact post while deciding to quit sea of tranquility. I liked it a whole lot and I hope to finish it someday but I’m just not in a headspace right now. I validate your decision to not finish.
I’ve done this a lot, with not just books but other media, too. I come back to it later if I can and want to, if I’m in the right headspace. It’s totally valid to put it down if you need to and come back when you’re ready. IMO it’s important to know yourself and your limits. To some extent we need to know how to be uncomfortable sometimes, but when you know it’s going to affect you very negatively *and* especially if it’s just entertainment… yeah, there’s no shame in that.
Reading is supposed to be pleasurable. If finishing this book is an unpleasant experience for you then just don’t finish it. Especially if you find it is having a negative impact on your mental health.
Though it does sound like you enjoy the book itself. And sometimes as weird as it sounds even a sad book can bring good feelings in a roundabout way. Though if you really do want to finish the book but are worried about getting into some sort of doom sadness spiral you could counter balance it with some happy stuff in your media diet. To kinda keep the balance. I know a lot of times when I’ve read a really sad book or watch a sad movie I follow it up something a little bit more lighthearted.
Though ultimately it’s kinda up to you to decide if dealing with the sadness in reading the book is worth it. Just know there ain’t any shame in not finishing the book. Frankly a lot of people get so focused on finishing a book, game, or TV series etc that they keep at it even when they aren’t enjoying it anymore and they would be better off if they just dropped it instead of forcing themselves to keep at it.
Be kind to yourself! If you think continuing reading will bring up negative/unpleasant emotions it’s likely not worth it. I started Happy Place when it came out and couldn’t finish it due to the melancholy tone it had while I found out my husband (32) had cancer and I don’t regret it! I’ve been sticking with fantasy books and loving it!
You can stop any book you want. If it helps, you can try checking out Does the Dog Die? You can look up a book or movie (I think it also does TV) and see if someone mentions a topic you don’t want to see. I wish you the best on your mental health journey.
I couldn’t finish The Goldfinch because I was so upset by the main character’s actions and how it affected others.
I stopped reading A Song of Ice and Fire because they were really affecting my mental state. It was just shitty thing after shitty thing, and I realised I wasn’t actually getting anything enjoyable out of them. (This was before the show, or I might have known what I was getting into). I got a few books in and then just stopped one day and never picked them up again.
Take care of yourself! You may be able to come back to it in the future and if not that’s okay too. When my dad was sick I could only read cheesy romance novels that I typically hate just because I had no capacity for anything sad at that time and that’s okay. Put yourself first 🙂
Reading should be enjoyable, and if a book is making you feel depressed or if you’re just not liking it for whatever reason, you don’t need to feel ashamed or guilty about stopping.
I was otherwise enjoying ‘Queen Charlotte’ but I DNF’ed at about 50% because the scenes with King George and >!his doctor!< were too heartbreaking for me.
Life is too short to read books you’re not enjoying, and your mental health matters. 🫶
Your mental health comes first. You don’t owe the book anything. I know I’m just words on the internet, but please don’t feel guilty and ashamed for thinking that you matter more than a book does.
Yes, I’ve been known to stop reading/watching things that are too sad. I was widowed years ago, and oh my goodness, don’t watch “Up” when you’ve just been widowed.
I tend to read a lot of books at a time, rotating between them at will, and I will bail out and switch to something lighter if I hit something that I’m just not ready to deal with in that moment.
I stopped reading Blood Meridian a few months ago because I wasn’t in the proper head space to appreciate it. Beautiful writing, the story was making me depressed and sad.