August 2025
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    Lost my dad recently and rather unexpectedly. My grief is complex and mostly I just use it to fuel helping my mom, who is devastated and needs a helping hand. I have not been addressing my own feelings very well. Will be starting therapy soon again for this and other stuff. I am finding it hard to figure out exactly how I feel. In some ways, life is easier (especially for my mom who was taking care of him, even though she is shattered at his passing), but in other ways, part of me wishes I’d told him the things he had done that had, unintentionally I’m sure, had a lasting negative impact on me, so that after his passing I could have a simpler grieving process that I could actually understand. I just want to be sad (and I am) but I don’t like that it is mixed with some feelings of resentment. Any books you would recommend? Prefer fiction, or a memoir, but not self help. I have already read I’m Glad My Mom Died, and loved it. Also I think I’ve read all of TJ Klune, not including The Life of Puppets which I’m in the middle of right now.

    Also would appreciate recs for my mom, who is an unchurched Christian who is coincidentally starting a new job tomorrow and getting used to living alone for the first time in her life. She seems to be doing well (weepy, of course, but getting out of the house and spending a lot of time with me and my sister, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.). She’s not a big reader these days but wants to get back into it. Anything that would help her not feel so alone, especially as she was his caregiver for several months. (He was recovering from a major surgery that left him disabled, but he was doing pretty well all things considered).

    Big shock for our family and sometimes a good book helps.

    by 1cecream4breakfast

    1 Comment

    1. For you, how about ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ it’s a memoir about a woman’s grief following the sudden death of her husband which you may resonate with as you navigate your loss.

      As for your mom, ‘A Man Called Ove’ is a novel about community and love and unexpected connections that bring people together. A great sense of warmth and companionship that might help and uplift her.

      By the way I’m so sorry for your loss 💗❤️‍🩹

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