As a child I read all the time. I would read multiple books a day. I have a vivid memory of my little sister genuinely appealing to me that how much I read was unhealthy, which is a funny little memory for me.
Then life happened. I still read. Still obsessively bought books like there was a shortage coming. But as a single working parent, read a lot less. I’d be lucky to read 10-20 books a year and I *always* missed it. I missed that feeling of completely losing myself in a world, not even noticing the daylight fading, shirking all responsibilities and plans to just sit and devour a book. The desperate *need* for the next book in a series, the staying up all night, that “just one more chapter” being 20 chapters ago. I own thousands of books all patiently waiting to be read but the majority sat neglected.
And when I did read I would choose short books, stand alone books, nothing that required full immersion or a lot of time and focus. Gone were the 800-page epic sagas or spralling series I used to love. My reading habits were whittled down to the odd chapter or two here and there.
This went on for years. The majority of my late teens and twenties and early thirties.
I’m 36. And about 2 months ago I had a bit of a mental break. My job is stressful. I couldn’t do it anymore. My doctor signed me off with stress. And told me to just rest and get better.
And so I read. I rested, I slept, and I read. Part escape, part distraction, part simple pleasure. And for these last couple of months I have read more than I have in years. Decades. I’ve barely stopped. Last year I read 10 books for the whole year. I’m on 23 books so far in 2024 already, many of them 600+ pages. I’m overjoyed. I feel like I’ve unlocked a vital part of myself that got squashed by daily drudgery.
I’ve missed this so much.
(I’m sorry if this isn’t an appropriate sub to post this in, and I’m not usually one to do public outpourings or shouting things from rooftops, but I just wanted to maybe get it off my chest amongst others who may understand.)
by Zombeedee