I had a New Year’s resolution of getting back into reading fiction and so far I’ve failed abysmally. I forcibly sit myself down and try to concentrate on the opening pages of books of various genres and not even 20 minutes into them I find myself either back on my phone or turning on my Playstation. ADHD is a bitch (and to all you aspiring writers: I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to hook your reader in the first couple of opening paragraphs in today’s Netflix and video game world) and it is a real problem thanks to our phones. Maybe I should try non-fiction? Naw, it would feel like I’m back in school. I’m actually pretty down in the dumps now and desperately need some escapism; something so good that I find myself spending all my free time on and all I think about.
Honestly-and judge all you want-but the last book that captivated me was none other than “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” by Roald Dahl. This was obviously read back in grade school so maybe I’m open to reading children’s novels, or YA as they call them, despite being in my 30s. So please no recommendations of authors who seem to write to impress, if you know what I mean, by using a lot of arachiac or big words and waste a number of pages on describing the scenery or weather.
Here’s what I attempted to read so far this year that I did not finish:
-Charles Bukowski. He was a funny man but damn did he write the same book over and over. He gets drunk, shags a local woman, has a hangover, pukes, goes to work, quits job and repeat. His poetry is ten times better than his novels–and I hate poetry.
-Stephen King. I guess when you’re the world’s most popular author you get to write whatever you want without the input of an editor because, damn, does this guy meander. I made attempts on The Stand, Fairy Tale and The Outsider and boy was he the embodiment of “stop and smell the roses” in the first hundred pages or so, if not more. He’s a grade A slow burner and no; just no…for now at least.
-A Court of Thorne and Roses. A hard “no”. I read a sample to see what the fuss was all about and in fact it even inspired me to start writing again for how bad the syntax was. It was another “Get to the point, lady! I already know what snow looks like on trees.” Obviously I’m not the audience for this one, too.
-Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin. I’m not ready for him yet–at least I’d like to think. I get why he’s so popular with his immersive world but I found him to be too dense for my liking…at least for now. I need to hone my reading ability beforehand.
by AnyWhichWayButLose