I don't have a lot of memories of my childhood, or when I was in middle school or even high school. The only constant I have is that my parents were rather cold. I was never allowed to express or explain myself. If I cried I was yelled at to stop. If something upset me or grossed me out, I was told not to be a sissy. I really don't remember them raising me at all just providing for me which is a lot more than some get.
I remember vivdly going to a friend's house at age 9 or 10 and I was going through a phase of separation anxiety. Whenever I'd leave home, I just wanted to go back so badly, crying, etc. So this happened at a friend's house, I was there for a couple hours then I wanted my mom. I missed her. So I had the girls mom call her to pick me up, she was smiling and nice with their family but as soon as we got in the car she turned. Just said something like what has gotten into you. That was rude to act that way.
Anyways. I got 3/4 of the way through mother hunger a while ago. My daughter is 18 months and has started having tantrums. This past week has been difficult. Anything sets her off and I am just not used to it. Everything I read says this is normal and developmental.
But whenever she cries hysterically, or throws her self on the floor, I get SO ANGRY. Then I shut down, I walk away, or I just stare at her. I say things to her like my own mom did or walk off and let her deal with it… then I catch myself and realize what I'm doing and how I'm acting. I go and sit with her or try to distract or offer to pick her up.
I started reading How to talk so kids will listen but it seems to be for older kids who can talk and understand words. I'd like to read something that helps me learn what she is going through at this age and something else to unlearn my immediate anger reaction.
I also bought No Bad Kids but haven't cracked the cover.
by LinnyBent