Feeling unloved, isolated, heartbroken, cheated and unworthy, no life motivation or perspective, what book should I read?

My ex boyfriend was my only family, it was what he represented to me, we broke up and now I'm lost. We've broken up and gotten back together many times over five years, mostly due to his cheating. I ended it after another suspicion, but now I feel completely alone.

I have no close family or friends, and therapy hasn't helped. At 34, being a gay, I dreamed to build a family, now I feel my chance to have a family is slipping away. I'm unmotivated and exhausted, struggling with the urge to go back to him despite wondering if it's not right. I'm contemplating leaving my country but doubt it will help anything. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I've already recently read "Attached" book, to understand my emotional dependency. The book suggests everyone needs a "safe haven" in a partner and explores three attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. It resonated with me, validating my need for emotional support, I see myself in the anxious spectrum, also my ex, although it seems he didn't share the same commitment. This helped me a bit to understand my struggle to find meaning without him and my longing for a dependable partner. I simply don't have anyone more. Also it takes too many time to build the same kind of bond, I feel like all my love already I have given to him and not much left anymore.

Does anyone have any book suggestion?