October 2025
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    I’m friends with an older lady (in her 80s) who has recently become interested in this topic for the first time. She has described herself as a girl conditioned to enjoy ballet and perform, and she now has mangled toes because of it which she resents though still loved ballet. She went to a finishing school for girls where they learned “how to behave” and she married a much older man not long afterwards.

    She has many granddaughters and great granddaughters of varying ages now and the way they are being raised is obviously very different to the way she was raised.

    She’s become very interested in this topic, especially how girls and boys are treated differently and raised differently, and she has talked a lot about the safety of young girls from men being more prominent now than when she was young. Or how young girls are becoming more free to be different whereas she was railroaded into certain things. As an example some of her granddaughters were not given pink clothes as babies or toddlers, until they had a chance to choose. My friend is very fascinated by this and it came as a shock to her, as she said her generation didn’t think of things like that.

    She really loves this topic at the moment and has become really interested in it. I would love for us to read a book together so we can talk more about it. Preferably non fiction. She reads very well but in her older age she struggles with books that take too much concentration or focus. I did look at “the second sex” but I’m not sure if she’d manage it. Is there anything quite simple to read and understand on this topic? Anything about feminism would be nice but I think she is especially interested in how young girls are conditioned for the male gaze. This is a brand new topic for her so even the most basic recommendations would be appreciated! And if possible to steer clear of internet culture which would not interest her at all.

    by dreamfig

    4 Comments

    1. fragments_shored on

      This is a bit older but I think it would be right up your friend’s alley: “Little Girls in Pretty Boxes” by Joan Ryan. It’s about the physical and psychological impact on young girls who were pushed to pursue elite-level gymnastics and figure skating.

      For a book on feminism more broadly, “Entitled: How Male Privilege Hurts Women” by Kate Manne is excellent and I found it very accessible.

    2. Pretty-Plankton on

      bell hooks is excellent. Feminism is for Everybody, The Will to Change, All About Love, etc.

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