i'm asian and i've been living away in another country. i'm back home for the holidays, and rn i'm at my breaking point. my relationship with my father has always been complicated and tonight's dinner made me realize how fed up i am with my dad's conservative rhetoric, his religious fanatism, and how much he criticizes how i look.
he has no idea who i really am and what i believe in, and i am a coward because i can't tell him i disagree with everything he stands for and show him who i really am. i try to live up to his expectations of what a daughter should be in our culture and i resent this so much but i don't see any other path.
if anyone asks me why i don't wanna get married it's because i do not want my children to hate me like how i hated him. the closest i will ever feel to loving him is fearing disappointing him.
i read free food for millionaires and i felt so seen because of the main character's dynamic with their dad, so books like that would be great to make me feel less insane. complex parental dynamics, i guess
sorry for the overshare i'm just so pissed and i wanna spend money on books to feel better
by harigatou
3 Comments
You might like Mongrel by Hanako Footman. I don’t want to give spoilers, but there are two father figures who behave rather poorly and have complex relationships with their daughters/granddaughters
You should check out Yūko Tsushima
a tale for the time being
a thousand acres by jane smiley
purple hibiscus