Deprived of love. Want to feel it. Suggest books

Not sure if this is the best place to post this, but here goes for nothing. I hope this is a safe space of sorts where people can post what they feel. I apologize if this isn't the place for this.

Bit of a backstory: 21M, haven't really felt strong love for anyone/thing, nor do I feel the love I get from others. I have a wonderful friend who loves me [platonically ofc] but I don't really feel feel it, you know? I can see clearly that they clearly care for me a LOT, but I can't feel it fully. I'm not sure why. It's not like I don't want to feel it. I really want to. When I go out and see a young couple, fingers clasped and walking in the dim winter night, laughing and admiring each other, there's this dropping feeling in my guts, which I think is kind of a primal FOMO that wants to care for someone deeply. Enough to shed away the layers of cowardice I've accumulated over the years and fight for them. Enough to give me sleepless nights if they're ill. Enough to make me work day and night without food if they have an important deadline coming up. That sort of love. That which doesn't fade but grows and grows. That which makes you get out of bed and walk in the freezing cold if it means making them smile.

I have been trying some ways to be able to feel this love, and one of the ways I've landed on is to read books (some genres that come to mind: romance) in hopes of unlocking those feelings. Given this backstory, I would want to seek your help in suggesting me some books. It would be a great bonus, if somebody with similar experiences could share their story.

Some (naive?) preferences, although not binding: Closed door, MFC isn't perceived as being too attractive (in fact, possible ugly) by the MMC.

Sorry if it's gotten a bit long, or slightly unrelated rant.