I’m trying to help someone I know not fall back into a bad relationship. Please suggest me a book with the following qualities:
Palatable for a woman who has recently left an abusive relationship relationship the second time
Palatable for a woman who is not used to standing up for herself
Something that’s not too likely to put her on the defensive as soon as she sees the cover
Deals with emotional, psychological, verbal, and non-violent sexual abuse
Also deals with manipulation (I know, similar thing, but this is a big one)
Mentions that if you feel lonely by yourself, you’re not going to feel any less lonely in a relationship with someone who doesn’t give you emotional reassurance
Talks about what healthy vs unhealthy relationships look like
This is for someone who has previously left come back, and left again a few months ago. She is now considering going back because she has been consistently emotionally manipulated and contacted by her former partner, and she feels guilty.
They also have very different political and ethical views, for example consistently voting for the left and right wing parties.
Bonus points if the book talks about how to get to know YOURSELF if you’ve never really been able to.
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it.
by Altaccount7349
8 Comments
For you:
https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/
Books by Lundy Bancroft:
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Why Does He Do That?
The Joyous Recovery
Also:
Will I Ever Be Free of You? by Karyl Davis
Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer
I liked Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend – it has Christian themes but was recommended to me by a (non-Christian) psychologist.
The Gift of Fear is not specifically about abusive relationships, but it has a chapter dedicated to it and it explores very well how violence originates and escalates and techniques to descalate it and disengage from it.
A Thousand Splendid Suns- it is fiction but discusses all the above and has become my favorite book and it’s a beautiful, empowering story. I look to it for strength quite often.
Women who love too much – going to be a hole in one here
Why does he do that – talks about the manipulative partner and how literally, it’s all about them
Adult children of emotionally immature parents can be helpful if the person’s childhood home life was a mess and explains why they grew up to be who they were and why they do what they do, also how to move forwards. Might not be the right time for this one
Why men love b*****s – book about standing up for yourself and being strong on the inside and why men honestly aren’t attracted to doormats, so this is a book that approaches from the other side of things, this is why there are no decent men when you act like a doormat, only the predators and other damaged goods
Also, therapy. If you can get them in there. If not, the local library. Also, there are some low cost resources on the website mended light. Or your local library (books)
the maid
Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult
I, Tina by Tina Turner